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Results for "no thank you"

  • September 15, 2014
    This is the nest that hornets built on YouTuber Vang Tsal's window. It allows a glimpse inside the nest to see all those stinging bastards at work. Interesting, but no thank you. When reached for comment about the nest, Vang didn't answer his home phone, presumably because it... / Continue →
  • September 5, 2014
    This is the 18-inch mantis shrimp (which are neither shrimp nor lobsters but similar to both) a fisherman pulled out of the water while fishing off a dock on the Indian River Lagoon in Florida. Apparently this is an exceptionally sized species of mantis shrimp too. I'd say, t... / Continue →
  • August 22, 2014
    This is a video from Unifiller showing off their line of robotic cake decorators. They can ice a whole cake AND add the little swirl and dollop decorations, pretty much rendering that sweet old lady at the grocery store obsolete. That's cool, I'm sure she has plenty of other ... / Continue →
  • August 19, 2014
    Jerks at Harvard have created 1,024 little robots that can work together to form shapes. For reference, that makes them infinitely less dysfunctional than my own department at work. We can barely hold a meeting without people trying to kill each other. Each of the identical ... / Continue →
  • August 15, 2014
    Seen here hanging out with my uncle Wes the exact kind of guy I'd expect to be having sex with a robot, a synthetic sexbot poses with her owner. And now, according to a 66-page report (links to PDF) titled "AI, Robotics, and the Future of Jobs," sex robots will be commonplace ... / Continue →
  • August 9, 2014
    Scientits (not changing it) have developed origami robots capable of autonomously self assembling and roaming around. God willing, these scientits will be the first to be enslaved by our new robotic overlords. Me? They're not taking me alive. Who wants to drink the Kool-Aid... / Continue →
  • July 17, 2014
    This is a rendering from a patent recently filed by Airbus for rows of saddle seating, presumably for a new travel class known as 'shit class'. Airbus says the new seating configuration will allow them to fit four seats for each three previously. No word why all the guys in t... / Continue →
  • July 9, 2014
    This is a video of a house in Florida whose previous owner died. So a new couple bought the home and began the process of renovating it when, OH SHIT, massive yellow-jacket nest attached to the recliner. The video was shot by the bee-removal expert they hired, who, from the s... / Continue →
  • July 1, 2014
    This is a video of the Spongebob Squarepants theme song slowed down 800%. It sounds like some sort of demonic chant. I've actually heard sounds like this coming from my closet at night, and those are the nights I go sleep on the couch with the TV on. At least until that girl... / Continue →
  • June 25, 2014
    This is a short video of what a group of Japanese robot-loving scientists are calling the first android newscasters. Me? I'm calling them public enemies numbers 1 and 2. *pins their pictures to the wall with big red circles around their faces* Can somebody bring me some yar... / Continue →
  • June 16, 2014
    Note: Just watch the video. This is a special 'Peek-A-Boo' edition UnDeadTed (previously: all these ones). UndeadTeds are teddy bears that have been customized to traumatize children. They make the perfect replacements for American Girl Dolls. Don't ask, just replace. Pref... / Continue →
  • June 13, 2014
    This a short video of a 'hands-free snacking and gaming device' developed by the folks at Mattessons snack foods. It is a complete disaster. Obviously, it's just a viral ad for Mattessons products, but also, A VISION OF THE FUTURE. I don't need crystal balls to know where th... / Continue →
  • June 5, 2014
    After numerous tests, scientists have confirmed a copy of French writer Arsene Houssaye's "Des destinees de l'ame" was bound with human skin. *eying picture* Nice skin too -- no moles or beauty marks. You think that was back or buttcheek? It's definitely not chest because ... / Continue →
  • May 21, 2014
    Meet Happy, McDonald's new Happy Meal mascot. Happy is happy because he just devoured the souls of countless children hoping for a Pokemon toy with their meal. "You know what the new mascot needs? Googly eyes and giant dick-biting lips," I imagine some executive arguing at a... / Continue →
  • April 18, 2014
    This is Poveglia Island, a 17-acre island "between Venice and Lido in the Venetian Lagoon, northern Italy." It was originally used as a dumping ground for dying plague victims. Then in 1922 a mad doctor opened a mental hospital there where he performed lobotomies with hammers... / Continue →
  • April 2, 2014
    After the robot apocalypse has been fought and humanity decimated, I hope the robots make a note somewhere in their central databank that I called it from the beginning. I don't know, maybe they could erect a statue of me somewhere mentioning that, although I didn't agree with... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2014
    This is a video compilation of Mike Tyson fights with Street Fighter sound effects added. Just like the title says. Could you imagine being on the receiving end of one of those punches? Your body would just explode. At least mine would. Probably through the anus. What? I... / Continue →
  • March 17, 2014
    Note: Some NSFW language. I cannot tell you how many times I've almost died. I'd say it's in the thousands. I'm starting to wonder if I'm immortal, but none of my friends are brave enough to run me through with a pirate cutlass to find out. Maybe one of them will grow some ... / Continue →
  • March 13, 2014
    Remember deranged pervert Giles Walker's robotic poledancers? I've written about them twice already. And now they're back, with different flashing colors and larger boobs. Want to buy one? Because you can for $40,000. Although why you would is grounds for a criminal invest... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2014
    Seen here about to fill the back of his pants with regret, a volunteer prepares to be tazed by the CUPID hexacopter. The CUPID has an 80,000-volt taser on board with a laser sight to make sure it shoots you right in the eyeballs. Pfft, I've been hit with 80,000 volts before a... / Continue →