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Results for "living forever"

  • May 4, 2012
    The ancient Egyptians: they were smart. So smart they were the first race to be able to communicate with aliens and had them come build the pyramids. The mummification thing? That was a little weird. But the smartest people you know are often the most eccentric. *twirls Da... / Continue →
  • March 17, 2010
    The Personal Rosetta Stone (Get Rosetta Stoned Today™) is a little 2-inch by 4-inch piece of granite (upper right in picture) that your relatives can glue to your grave so other people can access additional information about you via NFC-RFID enabled cell phone. OMG, you'... / Continue →
  • November 12, 2009
    This is probably entirely fake and a giant hoax but I don't care because, well, breasts. Also -- don't question my journalistic integrity or I will swell your eyes shut so bad you'd be lucky to squint a nipple. According to German research published in New England Journal of ... / Continue →
  • September 2, 2009
    Sure we've seen canned bacon before, but I don't want to seem I give preferential treatment to one pig's belly over another, so here's Tac Bac! Like its competitor, this bacon is good for TEN FREAKIN' YEARS. Buy now and you can eat the very same can in 2019 while huddled in yo... / Continue →
  • April 14, 2009
    The Human Regenerator is a $553,400 piece of monkey shit that's supposed to make you live longer or something. Personally, I think it looks suspiciously like Superman's tanning bed of solitude. The Human Regenerator is a Quantum-Pulse-Device that imitates and generates the ce... / Continue →