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Results for "i like turtles"

  • May 24, 2016
    This is the inside of a leatherback turtle's mouth and esophagus. Just what the hell is going on here? EVOLUTION, that's what. That shit looks like Predator's mouth on steroids and GMOs. Man, if my mouth looked like that there's no way I would have ever kissed a girl by now... / Continue →
  • May 23, 2016
    These are a bunch of shots of the 3-bedroom Manhattan apartment that Paramount turned into the Ninja Turtles' lair to promote the upcoming Ninja Turtles movie. You can even rent the place on AirBnB with complementary pizza delivery. Is this what the Ninja Turtles' pad looks l... / Continue →
  • May 23, 2016
    Meet Freddy the tortoise. Freddy was badly burned in a bush fire in Brazil and would not have survived without human intervention. Thankfully, a team calling themselves Captain Planet and The Planeteers The Animal Avengers rescued Freddy and 3-D printed him a bitchin' new she... / Continue →
  • May 18, 2016
    The Saltwater Brewery of Delray Beach, Florida has developed edible six-pack rings to help save marine life. The rings are made from barley and wheat leftovers from the brewing process and are 100% biodegradable. No word if eating them will get you drunk, but I'm already on m... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2016
    This is a video of veterinarian Dr Joe Hollins giving Jonathan the Giant Tortoise the first bath of his life. For reference, I have never had a bath and I'm an 800 year old warlock, but you don't see me making the news. Journalism is dead. Jonathan is not though, and lives o... / Continue →
  • September 29, 2015
    This is a video of a critically endangered hawksbill sea turtle that divers just recently discovered have bio-fluorescent shells. They don't produce their own light (bio-luminescence), but rather reflect UV light as different colors (in this case red, yellow and green). Scien... / Continue →
  • April 6, 2015
    Seen here eyeballing a friend with a rocket launcher strapped to its back, an endangered Amazon river turtle prepares to take us on a journey of epic proportions. Minus the epic proportions part. It's really just some murky underwater footage of a turtle party. Still, it was... / Continue →
  • December 16, 2014
    This is a short video of a tortoise flipping its upside-down friend back over while children cheer them on in the background. So, what's the ruling -- did the tortoise actually know what he was doing? I mean, it certainly SEEMED deliberate. But maybe he was just trying to st... / Continue →
  • September 4, 2014
    Nice video game console collection. This is a short video of how Austin Woods keeps track of his pet turtle -- with a helium balloon. Apparently Austin was tired of his turtle getting lost around his apartment, so he decided to rectify the situation. Wow, what a handsome lit... / Continue →
  • August 5, 2014
    This is a video of young Noah Ritter (who has never been on live television before) being interviewed at the Wayne County Fair in Pennsylvania. He is an all-star. If there were a such thing as live television interview Olympics, Noah would take the gold, Zombie "I like turtl... / Continue →
  • November 8, 2013
    Meet Schildi. Schildi was a pet turtle living in Germany when he was abandoned (or escaped), and lost a leg in the real world. The real world -- it'll take your f***ing legs. Thankfully Schildi was rescued, and vets were able to amputate his mangled limb and replace it with ... / Continue →
  • June 24, 2013
    Look around. Do you already own everything else? Then have I got the foot stool for you! Enter this $999 Turtle Foot Stool from Horchow. It looks like a turtle being crushed underneath a giant leather ottoman. Let this foot stool inspire you to slow down and put your fee... / Continue →
  • June 7, 2013
    It's ever turtle's dream to be big and tough like Bowser. And now, thanks to this guide from Squirrel Picnic, you can make your own little Bowser shell for your special reptilian friend. Don't have a turtle? Make one anyways and put it on a loaf of bread. Don't have a loaf ... / Continue →
  • July 21, 2011
    In far less depressing (non-squid) animal news, a 12-year old African spur-thighed tortoise NAMED GAMERA (♫ Gamera is really neat, Gamera is filled with meat ♫) had to have its front left leg amputated after a severe burn and tissue damage. So what did the vets do? What a... / Continue →
  • November 21, 2010
    This video is from 2006 and has over a million views, so you've probably already seen it. I hadn't though, and since it's Sunday, I'm entitled to do whatever I damn well please. Including, and not just limited to, drinking at 9AM. Breakfast never tasted so good! Anyway, thi... / Continue →
  • October 14, 2010
    Some jerk went and drilled holes through the shells of his pet turtles so that he could attach wire handles to them and pick them up easier. But turtles don't even like being coddled! Master Splinter, yes. "They do have nerves in their shells, so it would have been painful f... / Continue →
  • August 31, 2010
    Somebody with a lot of imagination is selling a green pepper that looks like a ninja turtle head on eBay. Personally, I think it looks like a hacky-sack. This is a home grown green bell pepper that, by the hand of God, looks (and maybe tastes) just like one of the Teenage Mut... / Continue →
  • August 26, 2010
    Note: This is a long one. Full-length graphic HERE. Did you know meme rhymes with dream? I did not. I always thought it was pronounced yo momma! Hoho -- she's so fat she jumped and got stuck! Just kidding, I like your parents. Unless you don't like one or both of them, in... / Continue →
  • August 21, 2010
    A giant-ass horned turtle (resembling Bowser) previously thought to be extinct for over 50,000 years may, in fact, have only died out 3,000 years ago. Break out the printing press, it's time to rewrite history books! Just wait till they find a live one. Dozens of bones found... / Continue →
  • July 21, 2010
    BP recently admitted to Photoshopping a picture of their Houston-based oil spill command center to make it seem like the workers there don't just play Minesweeper and make dead sea turtle jokes all day. Little did they know. You can't fool the American public. ROFLOL! BP ac... / Continue →