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Results for "genius"

  • October 17, 2014
    PROTIP: Turn the volume down, commentary is entirely not worth it. This is a portrait mode video (I give up) of a couple geniuses ziplining (technically not a zipline but whatever) a couch off the balcony of a 3rd story apartment so they don't have to carry it down the stairs.... / Continue →
  • June 7, 2013
    This is the robot created by genius David Neevel (of separating the creme for OREOs and typing by playing guitar fame) that only draws peens. Well, it can also WRITE the word penis too. It might be the most advanced robot the world has ever seen, even if the penises it draws... / Continue →
  • May 8, 2013
    This is the jacket made from sewn together Ziplock bags by Jaya's friend Diane. It...might be the most magnificent jacket I've ever seen and that's saying a lot because I used to own a pleather Member's Only windbreaker. The only thing that sucks about this one is that bullie... / Continue →
  • February 21, 2013
    Ever dreamed of eating a Gusher THE SIZE OF A SMUSHED BASEBALL? If you're anything like me you have, because three-quarters of my dreams involve overeating. The other quarter are nightmares involving ghosts and my ass. Take a bunch of Gushers, wrap them in a layer of Fruit R... / Continue →
  • January 7, 2013
    A cat was recently detained by Brazilian authorities after it was caught trying to sneak saw blades, drill bits, a cell phone (plus charger) and memory cards into a prison. The cat was caught trying to cross the prison yard and stood out because, unlike a human, it had all the... / Continue →
  • March 21, 2012
    This is an article written to an Australian newspaper's 'Points of View' section where Chris Hill of Albury (who I suspect is a high-ranking public official) explains the cause of Australia's droughts is the extra hour of "hot afternoon sun" caused by daylights saving time. Yo... / Continue →
  • March 6, 2012
    When aliens come visit the remains of earth long after we've destroyed it, they will carry one thing away from them: we were a bunch of f***ing idiots. EXCEPT for taco flavored ramen noodles. "A hint of genius in a world full of turds" they'll say to themselves before boardin... / Continue →
  • November 11, 2011
    This is the $250 Blacktop Grill-Fryer. It combines the cooking power of a grill, griddle and deep fryer in a single unit. Did I mention there's a warming plate? Because there's one of those too. Now you can keep your hands toasty while you grill and deep-fry in the middle o... / Continue →
  • November 8, 2011
    This is a recirculating ketchup fountain, not unlike the recirculating nacho cheese fountain we featured that somebody was classy enough to construct for their wedding. Now I know what you're thinking, "but why couldn't it be ranch?!" And that's because you're fat. Move Ove... / Continue →
  • February 22, 2011
    This is a slot machine that pays out booze instead of nickels, making it THE BEST SLOT MACHINE EVER CREATED. Seriously, if aliens come down to earth after we've annihilated ourselves with nuclear missiles, they'll find this thing in the rubble and go, "well, they did get one t... / Continue →
  • November 5, 2010
    Tapi faucet nipples from Dreamfarm (I'm not gonna lie, I've always dreamed of farming nipples, too) turns your faucet into a water fountain by squeezing off the hole at the bottom. Simple! Plus it comes in a rainbow of colors, none of which will match any kitchen/bathroom's d... / Continue →
  • October 21, 2010
    Note: Video of the crab-vending action after the jump. China, best known for not being on the exact opposite side of the globe as California (you could have told me before I dug the hole!), now has live-crab vending machines. Because if there's one thing I'm hungry for in a h... / Continue →
  • October 7, 2010
    So simple, so beautiful, so genius. Say goodbye to crotches full of scalding coffee! Unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case I would love to pour a fresh pot all over your lap. "GW, you trickster -- did you brew this hydrochloric acid?" Guilty as charged! (I th... / Continue →
  • September 9, 2010
    That's right folks, no more sifting through boxes of Lucky Charms just to make a single bowl of marshmallows! Now you can have one whenever you want. Goodbye oat bran, hello cavities! (I'm gonna stash a bag in my ass for snacking you see). Here at Cereal Marshmallows Our ... / Continue →
  • September 7, 2010
    Simple, just change the name of your network! Oooor post fliers. Or -- OR -- hire a couple male strippers dressed as policemen to show up and run some of that yellow 'CRIME SCENE' tape around the premises because they heard there was going to be "an epic-ass party Saturday ni... / Continue →
  • August 27, 2010
    That's right folks, deep-fried beer pockets. Finally, a reason to live again! Ever since the inauguration five years ago of the Big Tex Choice Awards at the Texas State Fair, food vendors have been deep-frying the impossible in their pursuit of the Most Creative and Best Tast... / Continue →
  • July 8, 2010
    You know what the problem with sandwiches is? They're too hard to transport. What they need to do is invent specially-sized bags to tote them around in. Oh they've got those? WHERE THE F*** HAVE I BEEN?! Anyway, if you're too lazy to make a sandwich or worry your canned Co... / Continue →
  • July 7, 2010
    Between the oil spills and hoversharks, I propose we go ahead fill the oceans with concrete. Not only will we never have to worry about tsunamis, but -- OMG, I JUST SOLVED THE OVERCROWDING PROBLEM! There, uh, was a population overcrowding problem, right? Who cares, I'm walki... / Continue →
  • July 1, 2010
    Let's not kid ourselves, we all know the best foods come on sticks. Case in point: bacon, corn dogs, chocolate covered bananas and popsicles. AND NOW WAFFLES! Possibly made by the Blush Company to compliment the Corn Baller, the Lolly Waffle Maker can cook four 9-inch waffle... / Continue →
  • June 11, 2010
    Hang up your thinking caps, inventors, because you'll never top bacon pancakes and they were invented decades ago. Possibly by Aunt Jemima herself, who may or may not be related to George Washington Carver. Get it? Because they were both black ahead of their time. F*** I lov... / Continue →