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Results for "failure at life"

  • December 11, 2012
    Plastic drinkware manufacturer Drink Savvy (links to Indiegogo fundraising site if you want to contribute) has developed a cocktail cup that provides a visual warning if it detects the presence of the three most common date rape drugs (GHB, ketamine and rohypnol). Wow, druggin... / Continue →
  • April 19, 2012
    The police gave him a free night's stay in the clink! Meet Michael Baker, the 20-year old failure at life who siphoned gas from a Jenkins, Kentucky police cruiser, had his eyebrowless girlfriend take a picture, then posted it to his Facebook. You know, to make it easy as poss... / Continue →
  • February 9, 2012
    Seen here looking exactly how I'd imagine a piece of shit internet troll would (okay, maybe a little older), Darren Burton (aka Facebook user Nimrod Severn), is confronted by a reporter about the offensive (and often racist) comments he leaves on the memorial pages of the recen... / Continue →
  • January 26, 2012
    Seen here looking pretty much exactly like you'd imagine, 18-year old going on 40 Dustin "My other chin gets its own mugshot" Ferguson was recently arrested after robbing a Chevron gas station to buy an X-Box. What the?! You should have at least gone with an Exxon -- their ga... / Continue →
  • December 15, 2011
    This is a video of some idiot trying to run over his girlfriend in a truck after she ducks into a gas station for safety. He misses her, but manages to hit the owner after plowing though the entire store. But the excitement doesn't stop there, oh no! Captain Roadkill then ge... / Continue →
  • August 11, 2011
    This is a t-shirt given to failure at life German Neo-Nazi at a recent "right-wing extremist rock concert". Because right-wing extremist rock concerts exist. Also: should be carpet bombed. The black shirt, complete with skulls and bones, said "Hardcore Rebels: National and... / Continue →
  • March 14, 2011
    Picture moderately related. Ross Hurst, 28, of Scottsdale, Pennsylvania was charged with endangering the welfare of a child after leaving his 4-year old son at home alone sleeping while he went out to play ninja by himself at 1:30 in the morning. Dammit Ross, you know you sho... / Continue →
  • January 26, 2011
    Beard: real or Sharpie? Seen here proving denim's making a comeback, Ricky Lee Kalichun (who looks suspiciously like a short-bus zombie) was arrested after trying to drunkenly break into an old roommate's with his face all markered up and wielding a "large sword". LEARN HOW T... / Continue →
  • November 2, 2010
    An unemployed British troll who primarily attacked on Facebook has been sentenced to jail time for his harassment. No word on how trolls are treated in the clink, but I'm hoping poorly. And not just because I hate trolls, but you know the biggest goat from Three Billy Goats G... / Continue →
  • October 6, 2010
    Because watching morons hurt themselves is one of the few remaining joys I have in life, here's some idiot yelling like Tarzan going over the bar on a stand-up swing. Now I don't want to ruin the end for you, but suffice it to say I haven't smiled like this since I was nine. ... / Continue →
  • August 27, 2010
    Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn't having it. BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN! Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital's Burn Center. Evansvill... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2010
    *facepalm* Well no shit they didn't grow into watermelons, you probably didn't water them. No fair rigging the experiment! Hit the jump for the entire article (yes, there's more -- and it gets better!), including a though-provoking argument about kids not having fins and scal... / Continue →
  • August 11, 2010
    Some failure at life just got arrested for marinating his cat in the trunk of his car after getting pulled over for running a stop sign. "It was just taking an aromatic bath, I swear!" Riiiiight, and I'm just about to fix your hair with my baton. Police in Buffalo arrested 5... / Continue →
  • January 12, 2010
    Two piece of shit thieves broke in and stole two Motorola Droid phones from a man's apartment, then proceeded to take a bunch of pictures of themselves like the vain little failures that they are. Little did they know, little did they know. What they didn't foresee, however, ... / Continue →
  • December 30, 2009
    A wheelchaired man recently surrendered to a police bomb-disposal robot after unsuccessfully negotiating free pizza during a hostage situation in a rural Virginia post office. Not even kidding. Taylor initially fired shots from the building in Wytheville, but no one was injur... / Continue →
  • November 4, 2009
    18-year old idiot moron James N. P. Miller (because one initial wasn't enough) scored a DWI (you can't even drink legally!) on Halloween while wearing his 'blow here' breathalyzer costume. Not so good lookin', N.P. Can I call you N.P.? You know I'm going to anyways. Accordi... / Continue →
  • October 29, 2009
    Want to rob a house? Need a mask? Pfft, just Sharpie your face off like these idiot morons! Note: +2 homoerotic style points to Matthew for opting for a Robin mask. Police said they had no trouble identifying two men accused of trying to break into a Carroll apartment. Po... / Continue →
  • September 22, 2009
    Some idiot moron, in an effort to become the world's biggest failure at life, used 662,258 text messages on his iPhone in a month. Plus the jerkbag got the 12,301 page itemized bill sent to him, so he doesn't even care about trees. I did the math, and it comes out to sending ... / Continue →
  • August 10, 2009
    A Florida man blamed his cat after officials busted the failure at life for downloading over a thousand images of kitty kiddy porn. Griffin told police he had been downloading music, and that his cat jumped on the keyboard when he left the room. He said "strange things" appear... / Continue →
  • August 1, 2009
    Melissa Catherine Smith-Means (she is too!), 37, of Gaylesville, Alabama, was arrested for child abuse after dragging her unisex child through a Verizon Wireless store using a kiddy-leash. As punishment, Melissa is going to be leashed and dragged down every aisle of a Best Buy... / Continue →