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Results for "bad inventions"

  • December 10, 2009
    Neckphones are earphones for people with no ears or head. They just hang around your neck and make everyone else on the bus hear firsthand your horrible taste in music. Everybody will undoubtedly give you the stinkeye, hoping you'll take the hint and get off at the next stop,... / Continue →
  • July 20, 2009
    Cyclone Power Technologies, the company behind the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR), denies that it was designed to dine on human corpses. Obviously, they're lying through their oil-stained, robot loving teeth. "We completely understand the public's concern abou... / Continue →
  • April 30, 2009
    Some foolish Japanese scientists have developed a chemical compound capable of moving on it's own. They're convinced it's the stuff future robots will be made of. I'm convinced I just let one loose in my pants. A group of Japanese roboticists, led by Shingo Maeda at the Shuj... / Continue →
  • January 29, 2009
    Allegedly this robo-urinal holds your junk while you pee. For once in my life I'm really praying it's a Photoshop job or some really sick art project. You know the rule about having at least a urinal of separation between you and another dude in the bathroom? Well there are ... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2008
    The Palm Pistol is a single-shot firearm aimed (!) at folks who may have trouble shooting a regular gun and probably shouldn't be anyways. The company behind the weapon hopes to have it classified as a medical device for the elderly and people with arthritis. Holy shit. "It's... / Continue →
  • August 7, 2008
    The Backball Chair is actually a giant trackball you can use to control a computer. Designed by Interaction Architecture, it was "specifically intended for use in public spaces like airports." Of course, because that makes perfect sense. Seriously, why use a mouse when you c... / Continue →
  • June 9, 2008
    Self-replication is the third sign of an imminent robot takeover according to The Book Of The Robot Apocalypse, a novella I just wrote and which only contains that sentence. Well RepRap is a 3-D printer that is capable of replicating itself. Sort of. Technophobes needn't r... / Continue →
  • April 23, 2008
    These pants were designed by Erik De Nijs and are cleverly called "Beauty and the Geek" jeans. I see no beauty, just a kid that looks like he's playing with himself. Built into the knees are a pair of crotch rocking speakers, around the back you have the added convenience of ... / Continue →
  • February 29, 2008
    Remember when the electronic whoopee cushion came out? How hilarious was that? It wasn't was it? No, it sure wasn't. Well following in the footsteps come these Prankster Sound Boxes. They're $10 light sensitive boxes that begin making their annoying sound when it's dark. You ca... / Continue →
  • January 31, 2008
    I know what you're thinking -- there's no way a product can top the swinging testicles in the "stupid truck accessories" department. Well making a valiant effort is the Hitch Hand. It's a $40 hand that mounts on your truck hitch. You can form it to make such hilarious gestures ... / Continue →
  • January 23, 2008
    You stuff the one of the open ends of the Exhaust Burger into your tailpipe, and then drive around while the heat of your exhaust cooks a burger. I know exactly what you're thinking -- "why didn't I think of that?". I'll admit I was a little miffed I didn't come up with it eith... / Continue →
  • January 11, 2008
    Kwangho Lee is an artist who decided to make a couch out of Styrofoam. As you can see it looks, uh, like a couch ripped out of a huge block of Styrofoam. He made it by molding large sheets of the stuff together, allegedly from a recycled source. I’m moved, and I really think ... / Continue →
  • January 8, 2008
    Well it looks like I'll be living vicariously though others' posts of the CES due to my wife being a cheapskate and pissing our money away on stupid stuff like "the mortgage" and "food" instead of buying me a plane ticket like a responsible woman would. Up next from the show: t... / Continue →
  • December 28, 2007
    Some crazy German company makes a product called Vulva that smells like a woman's nether-regions. You take the glass vial, give it a shake, and then rub some on the back of your hand. They sent a free sample and I must say I'm actually getting sick while I write this. Curren... / Continue →
  • December 17, 2007
    Japanese toy maker TOMY released a piggy bank that explodes if you don't put coins in it on a daily basis. Once you put batteries in the annoying bastard it beeps on an hourly basis (read: not suitable for bedroom/anywhere indoors) to remind you to feed it. It costs about $27... / Continue →
  • December 17, 2007
    I love huffing model airplane glue as much as the next guy, but this product is ridiculous. Big Ox is canned oxygen that comes in flavors like Citrus Blast, Mountain Mint, Polar Rush, and Tropical Breeze. Each 3.5 gram can of "power oxygen" costs $9.99 and will guarantee you ... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2007
    The Tick Tock Timebomb Clock looks like a bunch of trinitrotoluene sticks wrapped together with a detonator (which is actually a little analog clock). It doesn't seem like a good idea. Especially not to ship to anyone or take on an airplane. Thankfully it's only a conceptual... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2007
    The Wine Holder Necklace costs $25 for two and holds a regular sized stemmed glass with a stupid looking lanyard. Keep your hands free at parties by keeping your wine close at heart! This clever little clip with adjustable strap holds a regular-size stemmed glass to your chest... / Continue →
  • December 3, 2007
    U.S. Patent 6,681,419 describes a headrest to be installed above urinals so when you're pass-out drunk you can still piss without falling over. It's ridiculous. And judging from the picture it's just the thing for people with only one arm and no legs beneath their knees. Now... / Continue →
  • November 29, 2007
    From the "Why God, why?" department comes a tow hitch for your truck that you can attach a flat-screen TV to. The thing costs $200, and I can't help but feel that it's money ill-spent. Even if the television does survive the drive to your tailgate without getting hit by a rock ... / Continue →