Timelapse Of A Corpse Flower Blooming

July 9, 2018

corpse-flower-blooming.jpg

This is a timelapse of a corpse flower blooming (given its name because its bloom smells like a rotting corpse to attract pollinators) at the New York Botanical Garden, before eventually collapsing like an exhausted boner. It's a shame we don't have Smell-O-Vision. It takes approximately seven years for a corpse flower to bloom for the first time, then anywhere between two and ten to bloom again. In this video, the multi-day blooming process was condensed down to a single minute, or approximately four times the average adult's attention span. You know, I actually got to go see a corpse flower in bloom in one of the greenhouses at Virginia Tech during my time there. It really did stink. Of course there's also the very real possibility that blooming corpse flowers don't actually smell at all, and it's just a hoax perpetuated by horticulturalists so they can stand around farting to their hearts' content and laughing at everybody huffing whatever they ate for lunch. "I doubt that." Horticulturalists are weird though.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to K Diddie, who agrees it's always smart to bury the body near a blooming corpse flower.

  • Jenness

    I was there when the Moody Gardens one bloomed and there was a corpse flower webcam and smell check and everyone ran over and you could smell it from outside the pyramid. It really reeks like rotting flesh and people were all smiling and gagging and retching and laughing. It was the weirdest spectacle. "Isn't this amazing? *turns and makes about to puke noise as the eyes water up and you think they are going to vomit* "Yes, it really is incredi.." *brrroooouuurrrpppppp* hahaha

  • Meh

    Ugliest flower candidate?

  • TheQiwiMan

    "..a single minute, or approximately four times the average adult's attention span"- But if you watch it at 2X speed, it's only TWICE the average adult's attention span!

    :-)

  • "Like an exhausted boner".... dude, does your boner just collapse in half all at once? That's... that's not how that should work.

  • The_Wretched

    It's a pity there's no d20 built into it.

  • Bling Nye

    I can't be the only one disappointed an actual corpse doesn't fall/crawl out of it...

  • Geekologie

    I feel like before you said it you might have been

  • Doog

    Man imagine if this was a Smell-lapse instead...

  • Geekologie

    get inventing!

  • Andrew Newton

    They have tentacle, dragon and alien ones, I'm surprised no one has made a corpse flower dildo.

  • toba_fett

    I kinda thought it looked like a peen so I could see that being a thing now.

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