Real Products That Exist: Star Trek James T. Kirk Branded Straight Bourbon Whiskey

June 29, 2018

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Because even serious space explorers like to get drunk on occasion, this is the Star Trek James T. Kirk Straight Bourbon Whiskey coming soon to a liquor store near you. The 90-proof booze is expected to be available by October, and retail for around $70 per 750ml bottle (links to a product page). To infinity and beyond!:

James T. Kirk Straight Bourbon Whiskey is serious bourbon selected from choice barrels aged between 4-12 years. Each small batch release of James T. Kirk Straight Bourbon Whiskey exhibits a depth and richness seen in only the finest examples of bourbon with notes of caramel, Asian 5 spice and pecan. Crafted with the highest respect for the whiskey and for the man that bears its name, James T. Kirk Straight Bourbon Whiskey is for the Star Trek fan and the serious bourbon fan alike.

So -- do you think if I drink some that I'll boldly go where no one has gone before? "You're gonna black out." Excuse me, I drink responsibly. "You have a bottle of tequila and margarita mix in your beer helmet." I'm pre-gaming for happy hour. Now I don't know how they did things where you went to college, but where I went to college I didn't graduate.

Thanks again to K Diddie, who promised to split a bottle with me, which I agreed to because I know how fast I can drink more than my half.

  • Meh

    I only feel hate for this product and anyone who would buy it.

  • Cheese

    To boldly go and shit yourself in the middle of the street.

  • Doog

    I'm disappointed in the lack of Star Trek puns in the product description. "Boldly going where no bourbon has gone before" or something. I mean come on!

  • julien andre

    Thanks, but I'll stick to James T Stagg.

  • MehdiC

    Kirk likes his Bourbon like he likes his women "with notes of caramel, Asian 5 spice and pecan"

  • Jenness

    Kirk likes his Bourbon like he likes his women "with notes of caramel, Asian 5 spice and pecan"

  • Nicholas Conrad

    What about Scotty scotch and McCoy romulan ale?

  • Cheese

    Klingon toilet paper.

  • Nicholas Conrad

    Oh yeah, I have some of that:

    https://www.lowes.com/creat...

  • Eric Ord

    Third :(

  • Cheese

    But you are first to be third.

  • Kaizer Chief

    Thanks, but I'll stick to James T Stagg.

  • Ollie Williams

    That'd be George, not James.

  • Kaizer Chief

    Just making sure you’re paying attention... actually, if I could afford it, I’d probably have known how to spell it :(

  • Ollie Williams

    I have a bottle of last year's. It's tasty.

  • Kaizer Chief

    Damn... being a weatherman obviously has its perks.

  • Bling Nye
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