Publix Grocery Store Censors 'Summa Cum Laude' Graduation Cake

May 23, 2018

censored-graduation-cake-1.jpg

A whole fiver?! Thanks mom and dad!

The online custom cake ordering system used by Publix detected "profane characters" on the $70 graduation cake that Cara Koscinski was trying to purchase for her son Jacob, who was graduating high school summa cum laude ('with highest honor') with a GPA of 4.79. It replaced those characters with hyphens. Thankfully, Cara was able to receive a refund and gift card after complaining Publix's custom cake ordering system clearly didn't graduate at the top of its class.

In the special instructions, Koscinski explained that the system was mistaking part of the phrase for something inappropriate, but that her son was graduating with highest honors.


However, when Koscinski received the cake, she said the message had been written as "Summa --- Laude," censoring out part of the phrase with hyphens. Another family member who didn't know what the cake was supposed to say picked it up, so Koscinski didn't know until it was home that something wasn't right.

Koscinski said the situation was embarrassing to explain to guests, including her 70-year-old mother.

She had to explain the cake to her 70 year old mother -- that's great. That's like having a reverse sex talk with your kids. If I were her I would have just ordered a cake that read 'Summa Cam Laude', and wiped out the top of the a with a finger to make a u. Of course that's just me and I'm a genius and graduated with an 8.0 GPA. "There's no such thing." In my home school there was. Prom still sucked though (I had to take a stuffed animal and the principal kept breaking us up for 'dancing too close').

Keep going for a shot of the 'profane/special characters not allowed' warning on their online ordering system.

censored-graduation-cake-2.jpg

Thanks to MSA, who agrees Cara should have just gotten one of those construction themed cakes with all the yellow plastic bulldozers on it instead.

  • Gordon Freeman

    Who is Summa and why does she cum loudly?

  • Javier Arreola

    I can put cum in that cake if they want

  • GeneralDisorder

    That offer can't possibly be anything gross or horrible.

  • So about that cake I got that read "There's --- in this cake"...

  • Fartbutt

    Yes!!! Now we can order custom cakes with cum on it! But damn 70 bucks? Is jizz really worth that much these days?

  • Chris Parrinello

    This is what happens when they stop teaching Latin in schools.

  • Eric Ord

    This Week in Unnecessary Censorship

  • Draco Basileus

    The dumbing down of America continues unabated.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Is the problem that they went to a grocery store that doesn't employ actual bakers/cake makers at decent living wage or is the problem that "hurr durr, 'murica sux, faget!"

    Pay an actual cake maker and you'll get what you want. Pay a shitty grocery store and you get a shitty cake with spelling errors and censorship.

  • Corky McButterpants
    The dumbing down of America continues unabated.

    ❗Profane/special characters not allowed

  • Bling Nye

    Even with the special instructions, I'm pretty sure no minimum wage bakery flunky is gonna risk their job writing something "objectionable" even if the customer says, "no really, it's OK"...

    Minimum wage, minimum effort.

  • Jenness

    But seriously though, have you applied for a minimum wage job lately? They expect you to write a thesis, pass an IQ test, do skills testing, 10 essay questions and have 15 years of experience and the baker is probably 30 with a degree. There is no excuse at all for not knowing or double checking this ridiculously overpriced cake that costs a whopping $3 in total ingredients to make.

  • Bling Nye

    Have you worked in a minimum wage job lately? They expect you to do exactly as you're told, no questions asked; do not deviate from the written tasks, and there is no excuse for "improvising" or "creative problem solving" and don't you DARE question the ridiculously overpaid management that has a whopping 3 brain cells in total among themselves.

    Sure, it could easily be a dumbass employee, but it could just as easily (if not more so, in my opinion) be dumbass management and company policy dictating the employees' actions.

  • dougfunnay

    corporate policy and chain of command
    nobody has the authority to approve this
    nobody is responsible

    and changing the policy through official channels would likely take months and investor approval

    fuck it

    let the company take the hit and scramble to fix the problem they created

  • Ollie Williams

    That's the worst looking $70 cake I've ever seen.

  • Bling Nye
  • Forblat

    I forgot about cake wrecks!

  • GeneralDisorder

    Happy Hole Days is by far my favorite.

  • Jenness

    Wow, these are really horrible.

  • The_Wretched

    The carrot babies are scary.

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