Pizza Rat II, Rise Of The Crust: Pizza Rat Returns For Seconds

May 2, 2018

pizza-rat-2.jpg

Sure this probably isn't the original Pizza Rat, although I'd like to pretend it is in my mind. I'd also like to pretend we're on a tropical vacation together instead of stuck in this fluorescent-lit office. You mind rubbing some lotion on my back? "This is coconut flavored yogurt." It looks and smells like sunscreen though, it has to be similar. Man, this is nice, isn't it? Sipping cocktails, listening to the waves break on the beach -- not a care in the world except what dessert to order after dinner. Personally, I'm leaning towards one of each, then seconds of whichever I liked best. This is an Instagram video of a New York City rat dragging a slice of pizza down the tracks at the Lexington Avenue/59th Street subway station in Manhattan. What's up with all these people dropping whole slices of pizza in subway stations? That should be a crime. Because, just like I mentioned before, the five-second rule is a RULE, not a friendly suggestion.

Keep going for the Instagram video.

A post shared by Michael Scott Courant (@michaelcourant) on

Thanks to Alyssa, who agrees unless they're purposefully trying to feed Master Splinter, there are a lot of people out there who don't give pizza the respect it deserves.

  • paperboy

    For a rat, finding an entire slice of pizza is like winning the lottery so let's all give them some space and allow them to enjoy their fortune.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Yeah. There's also groups of people in NYC who have dogs that hunt rats. So this rat will die soon anyway.

  • paperboy

    Those bastards.

  • Nicholas Conrad

    Nothing is as it seems!

    #ZarduluStrikesAgain
    #Podcasts;NotJustForThePoor

    https://www.gimletmedia.com...

  • Bling Nye

    Gotta feed those baby turtles somehow.

  • Meh

    And to think the last time i found a penny i was happy. Now i know better.

  • typowned

    Wait, people in NY drop whole slices of pizza?!? You don't even see that in war torn Chicago. Thus proving Chicago style truly is better than New York style pizza.

  • penguin farmer

    Of course Chicagoans do. But even rats won't touch those sloppy casseroles of shit.

  • shashi
  • GeneralDisorder

    I've never had Chicago style pizza from Chicago (which... I've never been to Illinois at all and can't think of any good reason for that to change). I've had New York style pizza in NYC and in New Jersey. The thing is... Pizza is pizza. It's pretty difficult to fuck up. I don't see any reason why people say "New York pizza is the best thing ever". It's... a thing. It's good. But you could just make your own.

  • paperboy

    Ooh, shots fired. Here's where all the dicks who moved to super expensive and terrible cities so they could finally appear interesting for once get mad about stupid food.

  • Nicholas Conrad

    No they don't. The Great Zardulu maintains an army of trained rats she uses to generate viral rat videos around nyc. Don't buy the hype!

    #NothingIsAsItSeems

  • Frédéric Purenne

    I'm okay with missing out some internet content if it allows me to avoid this damn instagram player.

    ... CAN I AT LEAST HAVE A FUCKING TIMER???? How long is this? Why can't I skip ahead? uhg...

  • paperboy

    Yeah bruh, I need to skip to the end and find out how this rat and pizza thing turn out like NOW. I can't waste any of my precious time on pizza rat 2

  • Jenness

    I agree. Not being able to skip around blows chunks.

  • TheQiwiMan
  • GeneralDisorder

    Wow... You managed to make the Instagram player look like a benign tumor with that cancerous bullfuck site.

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