Real Products That Exist: A Green, Tentacled Throw Blanket

April 2, 2018

tentacle-blanket-1.jpg

This is the $60 Tentacuddle Blanket available from ThinkGeek (a 2017 April Fool's product made real because what's the purpose of April Fool's if not to test the demand for potential products). The main body of the blanket measures 40-inches x 40-inches and has five attached tentacles, each with three large suckers, which may or may not double as drink koozies. "You're a large sucker." GOOD ONE. And no I'm not either, I have wicked street smarts. "I literally just watched a man pickpocket your cash right out of your jean pocket." Haha, he only thought it was cash, it was actually a pamphlet I wrote about denouncing a life of crime and pursuing self-betterment. "Oh wow." Plus he had to touch my penis to get it.

Keep going for a closeup of the weave in case that affects your hentai and chill purchase decision.

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Thanks to Stephanie B, who agrees they should have made it wearable like a Snuggie.

  • shashi

    idea: toilet seats made of cling film. Someone call kickstarter
    "that's not how it works"
    does anyone know Morse code?

  • TheQiwiMan

    You just wrinkled my brain, GW!

    https://i.imgflip.com/27lrn...

  • Bling Nye

    I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Well why not, otherwise what's the point?

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