Man Recounts Story Of Testing His Wife's Taser On Himself

April 16, 2018

taser-story.jpg

This is the hopefully real story told by Ellisville, Mississippi man Tony Welsh, who decided to test the taser he bought his wife on himself to make sure it had adequate stopping power. The taser in question is a 100,000-volt pocket-sized taser powered by two AAA batteries, which he suspected wouldn't be powerful enough. He was wrong. Obviously, the best parts for me were SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER READ THE STORY FIRST: pooping himself and "My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching." Man, double nipple twitching -- that's bucket list stuff right there. Obviously, I wrote him to find out exactly what model it was so I can finally cross that off and move to the freaky stuff.

Keep going for the whole story, but if you just want to read the actual test notes skip halfway down to where he's writing in all caps and I made a small pink tab on the left.

taser-story-1.jpg

Thanks to Shannon From HR, who also mentioned I need to stop playing browser games on company time.

  • shashi

    i can't read without highlighting the text from the middle of one line to the middle of a line below it

  • GeneralDisorder

    This would have been great if not for the fact I read this exact story word for word in 2009. Pretty sure it's some old copy-pasta. Kinda funny.

    But that said, stun guns are mostly pain-compliance weapons. That is, they cause pain which is intended to stop or deter an attacker.

  • shashi
  • Bosun Higgs

    If only Nikola Tesla knew how many hours of fun his inventions have given us...

  • Andrew Kent

    This story has been around for at least 10 years. I read a version of it long ago.

  • TheQiwiMan

    GW, he clearly says it's powered by 2 "AAA" batteries, not Double-A's.

    Do you even read the articles?

    :-P

  • Geekologie

    woops, i just type so many letters they all start to blur together

  • Kel

    Kind of reminds me of peeing on the electric fence one winter....

  • Frédéric Purenne

    Best read I've had in ages, damn that was funny.

  • Doog

    He looks like the kind of guy that would underestimate a tazer and then admit to being wrong when he was proven to be so.

  • The_Wretched

    And, some nights when she's out, he does it again.

  • qcp

    RE:RE:RE:RE::RE:RE:RE:FWD:LoL

  • Closet Nerd

    LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF!!!!!!!!!!

  • Bling Nye

    RIP

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post