Criminal Masterminds: Guy Breaks Into GameStop Wearing The Plastic Wrap A Case Of Water Bottles Comes In As A Mask

April 17, 2018

gamestop-plastic-wrap-criminal.jpg

Because some people genuinely miss jail when they're not there, this is some security cam footage from a St. Marys, Georgia GameStop of a man who clearly drove up from Florida and broke into the store at 2AM wearing the plastic wrap from a case of water bottles as a mask. Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't find a way to suffocate. I'm also surprised police haven't already caught this guy because he's the only person with God Of War trophies/achievements already.

St. Marys Police tell Kotaku the suspect gained entry to the store by kicking out the bottom glass panel of the front door, but have not disclosed what--if anything--was taken.

Wait -- why won't they tell us what was taken? That is VALUABLE INFORMATION that could help lead to an arrest. Like, how am I supposed to know if the guy selling forty copies of Far Cry 5 and a loose case of Aquafina out of his trunk is really our guy?

Keep going for the footage.

Thanks to cjcjcj, who agrees he should have worn an empty case of beer and used the handle hole to see out of like a true master criminal would have done *winks, opens desk drawer to peer at Hope Diamond*

  • Douchy McDouche

    Dat headline. Had to read it 3 times. Well done, sir.

  • Jenness

    This is almost as bad as the bank robber who put shaving cream on his face and then stood in the line behind people waiting for his turn as casual as it slid down and he kept wiping to keep it in place.

  • Doog

    Please tell me they called him 'The Barbisol Bandito'! If it took place in a city with a 'B' name it would be perfect.

  • Jenness

    "Putnam County Sheriff's Office said Gary Gunter, of Pomona Park"

  • Doog

    Well that's far less creative, but far more helpful if you're trying to find the actual article.

  • ashcoal

    This Guy isn't Wrapped Too Tight.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Dude's actually pretty smart. He knew his nickname in prison would be "The Fat Gamestop Guy", so he chose to make sure he had a different nickname.

    Unfortunately it's now just "The Fat Water Bottle Wrapper Guy".

  • Andyman7714

    Dad?

  • Geekologie

    son?

  • Jonathan_Berisford

    Bro?

  • puptentacle

    Sis?

    No, it's GameStop. Sorry.

  • Doog

    Cuz?

  • Megatron Jenkins

    Auntie?

  • Draco Basileus

    James Corden?

  • Bling Nye

    What the Deep State won't tell you is that he's a crime fighter called Liquid Courage that was sent by Trump himself and he was rescuing children from Hillary's homosexual frog dungeon and chemtrail manufacturing plant in the basement of the GameStop; you can clearly see he goes down the trap door into the depths of depravity at the end.

  • Munihausen

    We all know Trump's last console was N64, like all good people.

    Goldeneye, License to Kill, pistols, in the Basement. Also, Mayday.

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