So, We've Come To This: Peep On A Perch, The Easter Equivalent To Elf On A Shelf

March 29, 2018

Peep-on-a-Perch.jpg

Because some children refuse to behave on their own unless they believe they're being watched by the loyal minion of a mythical Holiday figure, this is Peep On A Perch, basically an Easter version of Elf On A Shelf (available on Amazon for around $15). The kit includes a soft, plushie Peep that, according to the included storybook, watches over children and reports directly to the Easter Bunny about their behavior. Obviously, I'm going to install a Bluetooth speaker in one and make it scream "NO BASKET FOR YOU!" whenever my nieces and nephews are near.

The soft plush Easter Peep included in the set can be perched anywhere throughout the home. Children will be proud to have the Easter Peep watch them being good all day as they get ready for bed without making a fuss, help out around the house, and use good manners. And the more kindness the Easter Peep sees, the happier the Easter Peep gets! PEEPS® fans of all ages will love to make this a new Easter family tradition.

And, per one 5-star Amazon reviewer:

"The book encourages children to help, share and be kind as the Peep reports directly to the Easter Bunny."

Honestly, whatever works. Although when I was kid I didn't have Elf On A Shelf or Peep On A Perch, I was always well behaved because I had the fear of God in me and wanted to get into heaven. "And now?" God said I've already passed the point of no return. "That sucks. Sure does. "And why are you walking like that?" Why do you think? "You're practicing clenching a red-hot coal between your buttcheeks so you don't look like some noob on your first day of eternal damnation?" The devil has to respect that.

Thanks to Allesandra, who agrees that Peep is still totally edible if you try hard and believe in yourself (plus like the taste of Poly-Fil).

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Kinda looks like a big yellow pile of turds.

  • Fartbutt

    Id eat it

  • Fartbutt

    Not an actual turd but a lookalike candy turd pile

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    "Poop on a Porch." That could be the book for young neighborhood hooligans.

  • Fartbutt

    Id read it

  • TheQiwiMan

    If you feel you need to outsource parental discipline to mythical forces in some sort of 1984-style Big Brother Authoritarian way, you are one shitty, shitty parent.

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