Biohacker Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow-Meow Fined For Implanting Metro Card Chip In Arm, Not Using Real Ticket

March 21, 2018

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33-year old biohacker Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow-Meow was recently charged $220 (plus an additional $1000 in legal fees) by transportation authorities in Sydney, Australia for implanting the chip from an Opal metro card in his arm and "using public transport without a valid ticket and for not producing a ticket to transport officers." Whatever, I say go for it. If this guy wants to be the Six Million Dollar Man, more power to him.

The lawyer representing Mr Meow Meow argued that transport legislation had advanced to include methods of contactless payment through MasterCard and some smart phones.


But Magistrate Michael Quinn said, while the legislation may catch up with technology in the future, the law of the day must be followed.

Outside court, Mr Meow Meow said he was disappointed both offences were not dismissed and that he was ordered to pay legal costs.

He said he was planning to push the boundary even further, replacing his Opal chip with one that will hold all of his personal information, including credit cards and memberships.

That sounds like an awfully big ordeal for a guy who just didn't want to hold up the line fishing around in his wallet for his Opal card. I mean, I understand the law, but I still call shenanigans. I also call my old job a couple times a week and hang up after a few seconds. It's a fun game I play. "Next time we're calling the police." It's a fun game I used to play.

Thanks to K Diddie, who agrees one of the keys to be a successful biohacker is picking the perfect name.

  • jdevola

    He should have kept a back-up card with him just in case. Just as no one could have predicted his name, he evidently failed to predict such a predicament. I wonder if he considered that implanting such a device might leach toxins into his body?

  • Mike Gover

    We had a similar law in the UK regarding vehicle tax up until a few years ago.
    You had to purchase AND display valid tax.
    Thankfully, the government realised quickly how retarded that was since you can purchase vehicle tax digitally and a quick vehicle check proved if it was taxed or not.

  • Closet Nerd

    Just hide it in your anus like a normal person

  • asdfadfs

    what? but...he paid for the train pass, right? so who cares how he chooses to carry it?

  • Munihausen

    He should replace his Opal Chip with dignity and gainful employment.

  • TheQiwiMan

    This guy's name has the same societal drawbacks as a face tattoo, with none of the benefits.

  • TheQiwiMan

    I'M SO GLAD WE HAVE LAWS THAT KEEP US SAFE FROM THESE DANGEROUS CRIMINALS.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    so, hypothetically, if i had stuck my phone up my ass, could i list my employment as "biohacker" on my resume and (completely unrelated) hospital forms? hypothetically of course. asking for a friend...

  • Bling Nye

    Of course.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    I'm sure the judge didn't give this guy a chance because of its name... that stupid, stupid name.

  • Bling Nye

    Mr Meow Meow, does he look like a cat to you? Is he jumping about, all nimbly bimbly?

  • Ollie Williams

    DO YOU SEE HIM EATING FROM A SAUCER?!

  • TheQiwiMan

    You accidentally misspelled "majestic" twice.

  • Elak Swindell

    Did this guy change his name to that ridiculous title or is it an online title? Either way, that name is really stupid.

  • Rhys Ewing

    He legally changed his name a couple of years ago IIRC

  • Ollie Williams

    Perhaps he could hack into his regional offices and change his name to something less retarded.

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