Because if you're the only person willing to do something you're already the best at it, this is a video of longtime world record hunter Ashrita Furman setting a new record for the longest distance walked while balancing a running lawnmower on your chin. I just don't know anymore.
Walking a distance of 71.50 m (234ft 6.96 in) in Jamaica, New York, USA, Ashrita beat his previous record by more than 50 m with the lawnmower, placed handle down, plugged into a generator being pushed behind him.
At no point during the 2 min 13 sec walk did Ashrita's hands or arms touch the 7.5 kg lawnmower as he used his balance alone to keep it perfectly weighted on his chin.
First of all, an electric lawnmower? Come on. Secondly, who even comes up with these ridiculous records? And, lastly and most importantly, has anybody set a walking while balancing a weed-whacker record yet? Because I think I can do it. Regardless, when reached for comment about Ashrita's latest feat, one outspoken neighbor had this to say: "He needs to stop dicking around and just mow his damn lawn already." I'd be pissed too.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to Caroline, who agrees he should try a riding lawnmower next.