This Guy Knows How To Party: Raccoon Breaks Into Liquor Store, Smashes Bottles

January 3, 2018

raccoon-in-liquor-store.jpg

This is some just-released 2016 security cam footage from a liquor store in Tennessee that a raccoon broke into after-hours and smashed $250 worth of bottles trying to climb the shelves. Now that's what I call-- "A party animal." A party ani-- man, you suck. Apparently after reaching the top shelf, the raccoon realizes that they don't have the brand he's looking for (Wild Turkey? I have no clue) and decides to leave. See -- that's why you always have to call the store you're going to rob earlier in the day to make sure they have what you want. That's like, Master Criminal 101 stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me. *making call* Hello, Baskin Robbin's? How much mint chocolate chip is left in the tub? Cool cool, and Rocky Road? Excellent -- and what time do you close tonight? Fantastic. Oh, and real quick -- could you walk me through how you make waffle cones?

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Rob, who agrees raccoons are clearly the most human non-humans of the animal kingdom.

  • Deksam

    Only perpetrators who have malicious intent, wear masks.

  • Meh

    Now that's a fun raccoon. Shame he didn't destroy everything.

  • GeneralDisorder

    So this happened in Tennessee? And the video title is in... some language I can't read (looks like Arabic but could be Turkish).

  • Kent

    According to Google Translate, it's Arabic for "The raccoon has the time of his life to loot the liquor store on New Year's Eve"

  • GeneralDisorder

    Isn't the punishment for consuming alcohol in Islam death by stoning and eternal damnation?

  • Kent

    Not all Arabs are Muslim.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Yes. There's a reason I asked specifically what the punishment is for consuming alcohol in Islam.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Teetotaler Raccoon has no time for your shit.

  • Fartbutt

    I feel his pain... That's what i do when I'm drunk and cant decide what to drink

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