P0rnHub Releases Stats On Post Hawaii Missile Alert Fap Attack

January 18, 2018

missile-attack-adult-site-stats.jpg

Last Saturday, January 13th, Hawaii was mistakenly alerted to a missile attack after a government employee accidentally clicked the 'MISSILE ALERT' button instead of the 'TEST MISSILE ALERT' button during a drill. I'm guessing he failed that drill. And apparently in the wake of that false alarm, Hawaiians rushed to their computers and mobile devices to arm their own missiles and relieve the stress of thinking they were just about to die. Personally, I'm surprised they didn't hit the site the moment they heard about the attack, but that's just smart thinking because you never if you're gonna get another chance. Also if you remember tell your family you love them.

Thanks to Nick H, who would have lashed two sharks to his feet and skied them to Atlantis.

  • ryuujinno13

    the spike happend AFTER the all-clear guys.....

  • Jenness

    Maybe it was just really horny couples on anniversary trips looking to spice up stuff? That sounds a bit less pathetic and sad.

  • The_Wretched

    Stress relief is stress relief. I wonder if the viewing choices changed, however.

  • FearlessFarris

    8:07 AM : Quick! Turn off the porn and start praying!

    9:01 AM: Wait, I'm not about to meet my Maker? Well, back to porno...

    9:06 AM: *dies of heart attack with wiener in hand*

  • ryuujinno13

    8:45 *all clear announced*

  • Irina Abramovich

    Once I prayed that the missile would hit wherever Fearless Farris is from so that she could die with a wiener in her hand -- you post-liberalism nazi feminist lesbian.

  • Joshua

    Less than an hour to go back to fapping? That shows some dedication.

  • Javier Arreola

    How about the number only went down to 23% of normal, not, y'know, 0%? Get the alert, first thought... ?

  • Fartbutt

    What a bunch of horn dogs. I am too but I'm more curious what the top category at the time was...

  • Irina Abramovich

    Fartbutt:

    The top category was masturbating to afterooster's beautiful wife. She won a competition once titled 'a woman masturbating the most hours in a day'!!!=) Also, she uses olive oil for lubricant, in case you were wondering.

    <3 Thomas

    Hubree, I know you love RedBull like I do!!!=)=)=) Hahaha, we're married to RedBull!!!!=)=)=)
    Irina, let's get our fingers in check and throw up some potato omelet.=) Nice job at being an Ana-Buddy -- I am under 90 lbs., and especially with your words of inspiration.

  • Samuel Chaabane

    Probably "Hawaiian creampies" to stock up on all the data befor the hawaiian race becomes extinct.

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    Less than an hour to go back to fapping? That shows some dedication.

  • Eric Ord

    How about the number only went down to 23% of normal, not, y'know, 0%? Get the alert, first thought... ?

  • TheQiwiMan

    There are worse ways to leave this mortal plane... just sayin...

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