An All-At-Once Toothbrush That Can (Allegedly) Properly Brush Your Teeth In 3 Seconds

December 4, 2017

3-second-toothbrush.jpg

This is a video advertisement for the successfully Kickstarted unico smartbrush, a €99 (~$115) electric toothbrush that brushes all your teeth simultaneously and can supposedly get the job done in just three seconds. You just squirt toothpaste into the power unit, give it a double tap, and in three seconds you're done. How about that! Did you know the average American spends 38.5 days brushing their teeth over the course of their lifetime? "What a waste of time! Thanks, unico." Personally, I brush for at least two minutes but the time doesn't bother me because I can multitask and get other things done at the same time like sit on the toilet and regret getting out of bed this morning, or remember all the things I was supposed to get done at work yesterday but didn't because I was too busy playing browser games. It's kind of one of my morning rituals, like slowly refilling my roommate's contact solution with vinegar.

Keep going for the video, as well as an even shorter how-to-use demonstration.

Thanks to carey, who agrees if you don't have any teeth to brush, you don't have to spend any time brushing them. It will take a while to puree all your food though.

  • David Gabel

    IF this won't rip out or otherwise mangle your teeth, then it seems like a good invention. I'll wait to see if this becomes more than a post on a page.

  • Glasofruix

    I know the "double tapping" and tactile may look like hot sci-fi shit, but it's still shit.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Talk to me when it loads itself with toothpaste and cleans itself afterwards.

  • I desperately want to see Rhoda Young, the house fire detective from the last post, review this product.

  • I don't think my ears could take it.

  • Talon184

    I just gargle battery acid and call it a day...

  • PUNX

    I wish I could save time like he does in fixing his hair with just a hwhisp of his hand.

  • kodama

    I think the idea is that it rips all your teeth out, so it only takes you 3 seconds each morning to look in the mirror and think, "Oh yeah, I don't have teeth anymore."

    Nice try, robots.

  • Gonna buy this for all the kiddies! No more meltdowns every night when it's bed time!
    https://img.memecdn.com/shu...

  • I agree...this is a godsend for parents trying to get their kids to brush.

  • Ollie Williams

    Beating your kids into submission seems easier, and definitely cheaper.

  • Ollie Williams

    Even easier, just don't brush your teeth.

  • I would rather not go through all the pain and expense this would eventually entail.

  • GeneralDisorder

    If you're gonna go the "I give up" route you can't go back. You have to fully commit. Or take up boxing. Or hockey.

  • WhiteEagle2

    Thats what opioids are for! I don't feel anything anymore!

  • Ollie Williams

    What if you're already dead inside?

  • Take enough opioids and you'll be dead on the outside too.

  • Ollie Williams

    Win-win!

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