Sounds Right: Flat-Earther Plans To Launch Himself In Homemade Rocket To Prove Earth Isn't Spherical

November 27, 2017

flat-earth-rocket.jpg

Darwin, stay awake for this one -- it should be good.

California man "Mad" Mike Hughes soon plans on launching himself 1,800-feet above the Mojave Desert aboard a homemade steam-powered rocket (dear God) in an attempt to gather photographic evidence that proves the earth is flat. PROTIP: Buy a weather balloon instead. He was originally scheduled for liftoff last Saturday, but postponed the trip because the Bureau of Land Management caught wind about his little deathwish and banned him from using any public land for the stunt. Plus, you know, "The rocket launcher he had built out of a used motor home 'broke down in the driveway' on Wednesday." No surprises there.

Hughes's ultimate goal is a subsequent launch that puts him miles above the Earth, where the 61-year-old limousine driver hopes to photograph proof of the disc we all live on.


"It'll shut the door on this ball earth," Hughes said in a fundraising interview with a flat-Earth group for Saturday's flight. Theories discussed during the interview included NASA being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk making fake rockets from blimps.

Dare to dream, folks -- that's the real message here. Even in the face of insurmountable scientific evidence against you -- dare to dream your stupid, stupid dream. Plus die doing what you love and believe in. And he's definitely going to die here, just so we're clear. The other flat-earthers will claim he was killed by the government in a coverup, but deep down, everyone will know the man couldn't build a decent rocket for shit.

Thanks to Ryan and Bambi, who agree flat-earthers should at least insist the planet is a Möbius strip.

  • Nathan Dunning

    In the last day's dip shit,Read a Bible! Or just swallow Hook Line & Sinker every Lie you ever learnt with your public school education.Think you're an individual and the truth is you're just the same as every other Automaton.

  • Matt

    How does a 2D photo prove that an object is not 3D?

  • Meh

    Making your own reality. Good for that guy.

  • Deksam

    How many Flat Earthers are commercial pilots or astronauts?? I am willing to wager on ZER0!

  • TheQiwiMan

    Once again, the BLM show themselves to be the enemy of humanity.

  • The_Wretched

    Black lives matters or bureau of land management?

  • TheQiwiMan

    Bureau of Land Management, but both organizations are toxic and built on lies.

  • Bling Nye

    Doesn't really matter, does it?

  • Doog

    What?

  • TheQiwiMan

    Once again, the BLM show themselves to be the enemy of humanity.

  • Doog

    I'm not sure redundancy is the key to cracking this case, unless I'm missing some larger aspect, in which case kudos.

  • Matt

    What?

  • TheQiwiMan

    Once again, the BLM show themselves to be the enemy of humanity.

  • sizzlepants

    I don't necessarily want to trivialize the loss of any human life but at least this guy has the apparent guts to follow through with this ideas (as misguided as they might be).

    Shine on, you crazy (literal) diamond! I'll be watching for the follow up later this week.

  • Jenness

    Oh please let aliens abduct him on live stream and have him disappear in a colossal 'WTF is happening?!?' event that pits NASA, conspiracy theorists, scientists and governments against each other. *crosses fingers*

  • GeneralDisorder

    Now there's something I can fap to! You know there'd be lots of probing.

  • Jenness

    Yes, because what else is an advanced intelligent species going to cross the galaxy for ? Bunghole Invasions - that's what!!

  • The_Wretched

    It's a fair cop.

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