So, We've Come To This: A $290 Toilet Plunger

October 19, 2017

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This is the $290 (marked down from $350) American Master Plunger designed and crafted by the Re Made Company of New York City. It unclogs toilets after you try to flush too much toilet paper at once because suicide hot wings. Alternatively, use a regular $4 plunger. The plunger I use I actually bought from the 99¢ store and it works fine. That reminds me -- a friend of mine used to live in a house that had carpet in the downstairs bathroom and one time the toilet backed up and soaked the carpet with shit water and he called me to come over and help remedy the situation, which I did with a gallon of gasoline and a lighter.

Keep going for one more shot and a weird video while I speculate why anybody with the money to spend on a $290 plunger would ever plunge their own toilet anyways.

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Thanks to joe, for reminding me of the time I successfully used a toilet brush as a plunger. I've never been so proud of myself.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    I can make you one just as good for $289.99!

  • Chaz Gomez

    Evidently this company had military contracts during the Bush administration...

  • Munihausen

    A fool and his money are soon parted.

  • Colin
  • GeneralDisorder

    I knew it had to be a joke considering that's more of a sink/tub plunger than a toilet plunger. A good plunger is a flare plunger. Those lousy motherfuckers like in this video just push your shit around and splash you. You get about half the force out of your pump-stroke. The flare plunger has an extra rubber flare at the bottom to better seal and loosen clogs.

  • Bling Nye

    If there's anything I've learned in life, it's to maximize my pump-stroke force when necessary.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    A website where I can't check the product unless I give them my information. Yeah, no thank you.

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