A woman on a Tinder date with student Liam Smith in Bristol, England recently had to be rescued from a bathroom window by firemen after becoming stuck trying to retrieve the turd she attempted to throw out the window after it wouldn't flush. Apparently the turd didn't fully exit the bathroom, but rather just dropped between the first window and another, non-opening window. Well that's unfortunate.
"We'd had a really nice evening," he said. "We'd had a meal at a well-known chicken restaurant [Nando's?!], had a few beers and then gone back to mine for a bottle of wine and a film."
He said the woman went to the toilet and when she came back she had a "panicked look in her eye" and told him what she had done.
He said the toilet window opened into a narrow gap separated by another double glazed window.
"It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo," he said.
He went to find a hammer to smash the window, but she decided to "climb in head first" after the "offending package" and became jammed.
"I was starting to grow concerned, so I called the fire brigade and once they had composed themselves, they set to work removing her from the window."
Beautifully, the couple has already gone on a second date since the incident, proving that even a shitty first date can still lead to romance. After all, according to Liam, "We've already got the most difficult stuff out of the way first." Valid point. Although he's a better man than I because I seriously doubt I'm going on a second date with anybody who bare-hands a turd on the first one.
Keep going for a news report about the incident, complete with all of Liam's great quotes.
Thanks to Twumpybum, who agrees if this ever happens to you on a date your best bet is just hiding the turd in the toilet tank.