This is a video from Australia where a Steve Irwin admirer was called to help relocate a 9-foot carpet Python from a family's porch in Doonan, Queensland. The guy manages to pick the snake up, at which time the snake realizes this porch wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyways and quickly slithers into the snake bag by itself for relocation. What a good snake. My snake? I have a bad snake. "What's the matter with it?" It never sheds so it can grow bigger. "You're talking about your penis?" Always and forever.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to G-NAR, who agrees that snake probably just wanted to kick it in a rocking chair drinking lemonade and relax for a bit. I don't blame it.