Well Hello There: Patagotitan Mayorum, The World's Current Largest Known Dinosaur

August 9, 2017

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Seen here at the world's awesomest petting zoo, this is an artist's rendition of Patagotitan Mayorum, the world's current largest known dinosaur. How large was it? I'm glad you asked. "But I didn't." But I'm going to tell you anyway. The Patagotitan, discovered in Argentina, weighed around 76 tons (~69 metric tons) and averaged 122 feet (~37 meters) in length, with a shoulder height of nearly 20 feet (~6 meters), and an additional almost 30 feet of neck. That's a lot of real estate to cover when you're making out! "Um, what?" Nothing, nothing.

A cast of the dinosaur's skeleton is already on display at the American Museum of Natural History. It's so big that the dinosaur's head sticks out into a hallway at the New York museum.


Scientists have known titanosaurs for a while, but this is a new species and even a new genus, which is a larger grouping, Pol said. Another titanosaur called Argentinosaurus was previously thought to be the largest.

So -- it getting hot in here or did somebody just set their wastebasket on fire hoping to set the fire alarm off and get a half-day? "You still have a pack of strike-anywhere matches in your hand." These aren't matches, they're, um, toothpicks. I like to chew on them. See? I chew on them. "Your beard is on fire." I have a beard?! "Not for much longer." Well what the hell are you waiting for -- stop drop and roll me, STAT. "Kick you in the face instead?" You're the fireman, I trust you.

Keep going for one more artist's rendition and a cast made from one's skeleton at the American Museum of Natural History.

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Thanks to Darrin, who knows what I like, and I like big dinosaurs.

  • Brock

    And yet still smaller than an animal alive today: blue whales.

  • bakuryu

    Come on! Do anyone really belive it was able to lift straight horizontal that tail like showed in the 2nd picture.

    It would have required all planet earth's BONE® pill to do such a feat (of love).

  • GeneralDisorder

    Eh... I've flirted with bigger.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    You've flirted with your mom? Ew...

  • GeneralDisorder

    BIGGER!!

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