This is a short gif created by Redditor TwoPointZero_gpa (still better than I did freshman year) of United just letting his flight's luggage fall onto the tarmac at Chicago O'Hare Airport. Honestly, based on the condition of my suitcases, I'm surprised they're even treated this nicely. I always assumed there was some sort of steamroller or rock crushing machine involved.
Thanks to Ramon, who only brings a carry-on and buys everything else he needs when he gets where he's going. I like your style.