This is the $60 Sexy Chest One Piece Swimsuit available from Beloved Shirts. They come in three skintones: pale, tan and dark and look like a dude's hairy chest (and back). I'm not sure if this is part of the free the nipple movement or what, but I just freed my nipples and my coworkers weren't having it. "Yeah, you can't do that." I'M A LIFEGUARD. "You're an advertising manager." And not a very good one considering how much of my day I spend writing Geekologie behind the company's back.
Keep going for a shot of the different skintones as well as a $120 naked dadbod tracksuit that's also available. Oh, and an Instagram video of a mom modeling the bathing suit for her kids.
Thanks to Stephanie B, who agrees it's high time we left earth behind.