Get a room!
This is a video from Youtube channel Music Is Win of a guy performing every guitar solo technique he could think of, in three minutes. It's pretty impressive, although he definitely missed a couple, including smashing your guitar to pieces and setting it on fire. That's how I always end my guitar solos. And by end I mean begin, because I don't know how to play. Show's over folks, thank you and goodnight! "You didn't even play a song!" Free Bird? No, not tonight, but make sure to buy some merch on your way out.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to Alexander, who invited me up to his dorm room to listen to him play acoustic guitar and promised there'd be wine coolers.