You Didn't!: A Unicorn Head Trophy Mount

May 18, 2017

unicorn-head-wall-mount-1.jpg

This is the 'Unicorn Attack Plaque' (strange choice of name) available from ThinkGeek (and other places, look around if you want one and buy me a present while you're at it -- preferably something you want to see me in from a lingerie shop so I know you still find me attractive). The unicorn trophy mount costs $87, is almost 20-inches long, has a golden horn, and a neck that looks like a ballsack. ThinkGeek explicitly mentions that its magical properties are not guaranteed. That's kind of a deal breaker for me. I buy almost all of my magic supplies from a witch in the swamp and she has a 30-day money back guarantee on the effectiveness of her products. Granted the last time somebody tried to get her to honor the guarantee she turned them into a turd, but that was me and I actually don't mind it. For once people actually try to avoid stepping all over me, which is nice. I only hope one day a special boy comes along and sets me on fire and throws me on somebody's porch.

Keep going for one more shot.

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Thanks to Ryon, who wants a trophy mount of one of those asteroid worms from Star Wars.

  • Auntie Mumpsimus

    Hey, Geekologie guy. Took this picture of a giant sky dick, thought of you. https://www.instagram.com/p...

  • Geekologie

    Awwww

  • Jenness

    They need to use a real horse head from the glue factory with dyed hair and a whittled elephant tusk dipped in gold for it to be worth $87 Like this: http://bit.ly/2pYYsYY or this: http://bit.ly/2rxtFDD

  • Russell Bullock

    Being from Texas, I know that I'm supposed to have more knowledge of guns than the none-at-all amount I actually do have. That said, isn't the guy just holding a toy from Wal-Mart or something? That's not a real gun is it? What the Hell is that thing? It looks about as real as that fake-ass, plastic damn unicorn thing. I'm so freaking confused!

  • GeneralDisorder

    I'm a bit of a gun nut. Not so much for lever actions but if you look at the butt of the gun (that's the end opposite of the shooty end) you'll notice it's pretty smooth and there's no metal, plastic or rubber butt pad/plate. And... the wood grain seems to be consistent around the corner which basically never happens when you shape wood like that.

    I'd say it's a plastic stock on plastic gun.

  • Bling Nye

    Real unicorn, real gun, real lumberjack.

  • Russell Bullock

    I think the beard might be a clip-on though...

  • Meh

    All i see is like a horse head on a dildo. Why would you want it on your wall even if it looked like what it is supposed to look like.

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  • Meh

    KYS!

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