Nope: Police In Helicopter Calmly Warn Paddleboarders There Are 15 Great White Sharks Nearby

May 12, 2017

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This is the footage from an Orange County, California police helicopter of officers using a loudspeaker to warn paddleboarders that they're in the water with approximately 15 large great white sharks and to "exit the water calmly." Me? I would have exited the water with a steaming load in my swim trunks. Or panicked, fallen off my board, and been eaten. Sharks are terrifying, which is why I never go into the ocean past my waist, or past my knees if the water isn't clear enough to see through. What just touched my leg?! Was that seaweed? I hope that was seaweed. Sharks are actually the reason I know that, no matter how badly I want to be, I could never be with a mermaid. Heartbreaking, I know. "Especially for the mermaids." You really are sweet to me sometimes, you know that?

Kepe going for a short Youtube video as well as a much longer one from Facebook in case you've got some time to kill and are willing to kill it by any means necessary.

Thanks to MSA, who agrees now is probably a good time to get a deal on a paddleboard off Craigslist in Orange County.

  • "Be advised that evacuating your bowels is also an acceptable action to undertake at this time."

  • Meh

    "in a calm matter.. " like fuck me I'd be paddling like a mad man.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I can't watch helicopter vidoes without expecting the radio command of "light 'em up" followed by the ground exploding. Thanks Obama!

  • Bling Nye
  • Jenness

    hahaha This is exactly how I picture the appropriate reaction as well

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