New Caramel M&M Package Features Two M&Ms Ripping Their Caramel Filled Brethren In Half

May 16, 2017

m&m-cannibal-packaging.jpg

In breaking important news, this is the packaging for the new Caramel M&Ms, featuring Red And Yellow (those are their names, their parents weren't very creative on account of their brains being made out of milk chocolate) tearing an orange M&M (formally known as Crispy when he was crispy-filled and, afterwards, pretzel-filled) in half. Not only are they ripping him in half, they're using his guts to spell 'Caramel'. That's pretty sick. Of course these are the same two M&Ms who have been eating tiny versions of their friends and family in commercial spots on television for years now, so I can't say I'm surprised. Hungry, yes. Sexy? Not in several years. "You need to get your groove back." If by groove you mean magic penis talisman, then yes.

Thanks to n0nentity, who thought everybody already knew M&Ms were cannibals by nature.

  • Jeff Bensch
  • Seriously Not Vampire Cop

    Does this make me a monster for having an erection?

  • Bling Nye

    Depends, is it your own or someone else's?

  • Seriously Not Vampire Cop

    You don't like my 'amulet'?

  • Bling Nye

    It matches my cape.

  • FearlessFarris

    Given the orientation of the "M'' on the orange shell, the top half is held by Red. It really needs eyes and eyebrows to complete the look. The bottom half, held by Yellow, should have legs and feet, and also be losing control of its bowels all over Yellow at the moment of death.

  • Bling Nye
  • FearlessFarris

    That's freakin' awesome! Nicely done.

  • Steamboat

    They think they're too anthropomorphized to be eaten, like those restaurant mascot chickens. They are wrong.

  • GeneralDisorder

    According to the commercials they live in constant fear of being eaten and digested.

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