In news that's sure to warm the coal-black heart of every red-blooded Sith, Darth Vader is alive and well and works as a surgical technician near Memphis, Tennessee. And, for the record, Darth Vader Williamson is his given name, he didn't change it himself. Is this what the new Star Wars movie is about?
Williamson says he didn't like his unusual name as a child. Kids teased him on the playground. Teachers giggled while calling on him in class.
"At first I was like, 'Man, what have you all done to me?' he said. "But once I got through high school and the girls were digging it, I thought, 'I can use this to my advantage.'"
Williamson hasn't seen any of the "Star Wars" movies since "Return of the Jedi" in 1983.
In fact, he doesn't even really like "Star Wars" all that much. He prefers the "Alien" movies.
And Darth Vader isn't even his favorite "Star Wars" character. It's Boba Fett.
Wow, things got pretty serious there at the end. You think he wishes his parents had named him Boba Fett instead? Or Ripley? I wish my parents had named me Spaceman Rocketships. But noooooo, they wanted me to sound smart so they named me after a famous philosopher. "Aristotle?" No. "Socrates?" No. "Plato?" No. "Confucius?" DING DING DING DING.
Keep going for a video interview with Darth.
Thanks to c, who agrees there has to be at least one real Princess Leia out there too, right?