Good To Know: Darth Vader Is Alive And Well, A Surgical Technician In Tennessee

May 8, 2017

real-life-darth-vader.jpg

In news that's sure to warm the coal-black heart of every red-blooded Sith, Darth Vader is alive and well and works as a surgical technician near Memphis, Tennessee. And, for the record, Darth Vader Williamson is his given name, he didn't change it himself. Is this what the new Star Wars movie is about?

Williamson says he didn't like his unusual name as a child. Kids teased him on the playground. Teachers giggled while calling on him in class.


"At first I was like, 'Man, what have you all done to me?' he said. "But once I got through high school and the girls were digging it, I thought, 'I can use this to my advantage.'"

[TRUTH NUKES:]

Williamson hasn't seen any of the "Star Wars" movies since "Return of the Jedi" in 1983.

In fact, he doesn't even really like "Star Wars" all that much. He prefers the "Alien" movies.

And Darth Vader isn't even his favorite "Star Wars" character. It's Boba Fett.

Wow, things got pretty serious there at the end. You think he wishes his parents had named him Boba Fett instead? Or Ripley? I wish my parents had named me Spaceman Rocketships. But noooooo, they wanted me to sound smart so they named me after a famous philosopher. "Aristotle?" No. "Socrates?" No. "Plato?" No. "Confucius?" DING DING DING DING.

Keep going for a video interview with Darth.

Thanks to c, who agrees there has to be at least one real Princess Leia out there too, right?

  • Okay I get that his parents were ass holes, but the dude is an adult now. Why keep it?

    Guess he likes having to answer the same half dozen questions he inevitably gets every time he meets someone. Dude should probably just print out the answers and carry them around on cards, like that Biff guy from Back to the Future.

  • Kaizer Chief

    Mate, you of all people should be able to understand this - Kiwis are notorious for giving their children outrageous names.

  • DID YOU JUST ASSUME BOTH MY GENDER AND MY NATIONALITY??? #TRIGGERED

    :-P

  • GeneralDisorder

    I'm sure he either enjoys the unique name or he doesn't give a fuck what other people think. Believe it or not some people are healthy functioning adults. I don't think I've met any. But... it happens.

  • cjope

    I've met a girl with the first name Princess Leia. Her dad went by the name Kevin.com

  • DON'T CLICK THIS LINK, IT'S VERY UPSETTING.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post