Dreams Really Do Come True: Beer Sold In A 1,000 Pack

May 3, 2017

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These are a couple shots of the 1,000 packs of beer sold by the Nokia Brewery of Finland. The massive case includes a thousand 0.5-liter (~16.9oz) cans of their 5% ABV Keisari Lager and costs €2,490 (~$2,344). Wait -- that's almost $2.50 a can! I'm not paying that. I can get a 12-pack of beer that's going to make me violently shit water in the middle of the night from my local liquor store for less than $7. And isn't that what drinking beer is all about? "Damaging your rectum?" What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. "Then your rectum must be a superhero by now." It really is, it's just a shame Batman refuses to team up with it for an extended universe movie spin-off.

Keep going for one more shot while I call around for forklift rental prices.

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Thanks to Davey, who only wishes Andre The Giant was still with us so we could watch him kill a 1,000 pack in a sitting.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I knew a guy who was pretty well off due to owning lots of heavy equipment and making serious bank renting it out (he started off as a private logger, made money to buy additional log skidders then rented them out to people, etc, etc... Huge house. Bigger garage. He was an interesting character to hang with.

    He used to buy a pallet of Straub Beer every week or two direct from the brewery. I don't know who drank it all. Whoever it was most likely doesn't have any living gut bacteria.

  • Steve Barton

    Beer from St. Mary's, Penna! Stop for some when driving from Clearfield to Buffalo visiting family.

  • GeneralDisorder

    If you're in or near Clearfield you can probably find a local distributor that carries it. If you're buying bulk it's only 30 miles or so from downtown Clearfield to the brewery on Sorg Street. Of course getting watery diarrhea doesn't require local brew. You can get that from almost any brand.

    I used to drive (from Kersey) to Clearfield just to browse Grice Gun shop. While I was downtown I'd hit up Jim's Sporting Goods and Bob's Army Navy because I love those stores too. Back when I played paintball I would buy all my paint at Bob's because it was cheaper than anywhere closer but more convenient for 16 year old me than ordering larger quantities.

    I don't live there anymore so I haven't been to Grice or Bob's since my ex wife bought her .223.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    I'm counting 12 cans by 18 cans on the top, making 216 cans per layer. 4 high that makes 864 cans, 5 high makes 1080 cans. So which is it? How does this crate end up to a thousand cans?

    EDIT : I just realized they might have missed an opportunity to even make a 1080p theme.

  • GeneralDisorder

    They put cardboard inserts in the bottom to fill up the space that the missing 890 cans take up. I don't know that, of course. I'm just assuming that the product is labeled correctly.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    but only one of them has been shaken to hell

  • Bling Nye
  • DeathBotGamma

    What's the benefit of this aside from being a publicity stunt?

  • Bling Nye

    Beer.

  • Matt Penton

    you really only need a pump truck.

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