What The Hell Were You Thinking?: Video Of A Snake That Tried To Eat A Porcupine

April 3, 2017

boa-constrictor-vs-porcupine.jpg

This is the aftermath of some dumbass boa constrictor in Brazil that tried to give a porcupine the hug of death. What the hell were you thinking, snake? I've been hungry before, but never 'I'll try to eat a f***ing porcupine' hungry. That's some next-level famished if I've ever heard it. Which reminds me: one time I was at a friend's house after we'd been out running around in the woods all afternoon throwing sticks and dirt balls at each other and I told him I was the thirstiest I've ever been in my life and he bet me I wouldn't drink a little paper drinking cup of water out of the toilet and he was wrong because I had like eight or ten. *shrug* More than enough to have to flush to refill the bowl.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to hairless, who informed me the key to surviving a boa constrictor attack is baby oil or butter.

  • asdfadfs

    it's funny because porcupines are actually really easy to kill, you basically just smack them in the nose. they're even protected from hunting and poisons in maine because they'd be emergency food for anybody who gets run off the highway or lost or whatever. hugging it to death is basically the only way NOT to hunt one.

  • ToyBoxofGuns

    Most animals don't have the luxury of modern hunters.

  • El Gaupo

    He probably ate the snake.

  • Matthew Anderson

    Now HIS tum-tum all pokey too!..

  • Meh

    Really, no one feels bad for the animal? Best thing i think would be to remove the needles, let it regenerate all the wounds.. but really this is a sad video.

  • asdfadfs

    meh, I prefer to be happy for the porcupine than sad for the snake

  • Chris

    What a dick. Kill the poor thing, don't just stand there watching it suffer while your dog barks at it.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Don't Tread On Me.

  • MaidoMaido

    so did they take him to a vet or what happened?

  • GeneralDisorder

    If I found that I'd shoot or chop it to death. Although I don't think snakes feel pain in the way that mammals do I'm sure it was suffering pretty severely.

    Also this happened in Brazil which if the varying horrible parts of the internet have taught me anything is a country where police fly helicopters over rush hour to execute people in traffic (and presumably make rush hour worse), where people chop their significant other's heads off for just any reason, where drug dealers walk up to teens and shoot them in the head in broad daylight and nobody does a thing to stop them.

  • asdfadfs

    don't forget abandoning unwanted children in the dump where they eat eachother to survive...which I was sad to learn is apparently a real thing(and apparently the government solution was to shoot them all before the olympics)

  • Steven Newton

    Those that survive the shooting actually live in the sewers as well, though local businesses still hire 'cleansing squads' to come out at night and torch various sewers hoping to burn them to death.

  • skeptic

    Snek is now a fusion monster.

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