These are the $425 Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans designed by New York City based 'luxury fresh denim brand' PRPS and available from Nordstrom. For reference, the most I've ever paid for a pair of jeans was $120 (which I only did once), and they made my ass look like f***ing magic. These make your ass look like you went snorkeling in a Porta-Potty at a music festival.
Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty.
Yeah, but you are afraid to get down and dirty, that's why you paid $425 for a pair of jeans that make you look like you did when you didn't. You could have just gone and fixed a tractor or fed the hogs and earned that mud. *guy walks into bar wearing a pair of Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans* OMG I think that dude just got banged by a mud-monster!
Keep going for several more shots.
Thanks to Matthew, who concocted a plan to buy a pair of these and lie about doing yard work after he's secretly been drinking beer with the neighbors.