This is a video from Finnish coffee roasters Paulig of somebody making a teensy tiny cup of coffee using a single Kenya AA+ Karindum coffee bean. That...is not nearly enough coffee for a person. I've already had four cups and it's not even 9AM. I've got the feeling it's gonna be one of those 'double espresso enemas before lunch' kinda days. "That is not a kind of day." Well it is to me. Now, I want you to squeeze this bag like you're trying to pop a balloon when I give you the signal.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Dougie, who agrees the first coffee chain to start offering cold brew IVs is going to make a killing. Or kill a bunch of people, it's hard to say.

Dear God: A Pizza Inside A Burger With Pizzas For Buns

• Chris Anderson

no foam leaf??? I want my money back

• TheQiwiMan

All of the work. None of the benefit.

UR DOIN IT RONG.

• Bling Nye

Hamster waiting for coffee to brew all like https://s-media-cache-ak0.p...

• GeneralDisorder

It would take 1000 cups of coffee to kill an average adult moose with the caffeine. For a hamster, I have to assume this amount is drastically smaller.

• Bling Nye

According to https://www.caffeineinforme... a lethal dose for 1 lb of body weight (they only do whole numbers, not fractions) is 0.4 cups of brewed coffee...

A hamster averages about 0.05 lbs, so (0.05)x(0.4) = 0.02 cups of coffee to kill a hamster.

In other words, with 1000 cups of coffee you could either kill one average adult moose, or 50,000 hamsters.

Also, according to that same calculator, it would actually only take about 419 cups to kill an average adult moose (1,000 lb), so 1,000 cups might be overkill... With 419 cups, you could only kill 20,945 hamsters.

https://media.giphy.com/med...

• GeneralDisorder

I don't remember how or for that matter why I came up with my calculation but I saved the following in a chat log with a coworker:
(What I typed to coworker)

(replies omitted)

You type in the phrase "LD50 caffeine moose" and you don't get an answer. But then you find a LD50 chart for caffeine. So what's the next logical search?

I type "a" and it suggests "average weight of a moose". Thanks Google. You're a real pal.

It's "up to 95454 mg"

About 1000 cups of coffee to kill a moose.

• Bling Nye

Yeah, I don't know the data behind the numbers, I was just going off that site's info... They list an 8 oz cup of brewed coffee as having 163 mg of caffeine. Even going with 95454 mg, that's still only about 586 cups, not 1000.

So, good news, you can save 414 cups worth of money and put that towards disposing of the carcass.

• GeneralDisorder

Google says an 8 ounce cup has ~95 mg. So that's "1004.779" cups.

I'm sure there's other things that the moose would be intolerant of.

• Bling Nye

Was just going to add, I saw google said the same, 95 mg per 8 oz of coffee... that site, https://www.caffeineinforme... shows a variety of levels, which makes sense. It also says,

"Like all coffee drinks, caffeine levels vary greatly - due to variations in coffee blend, exact amount of ground coffee used, and brewing technique.

Brewed Coffee Type
Caffeine per 8 fl. oz.

Drip or Filter 115-175mg with an average of 145mg

French press or plunger 80-135mg with an average of 107.5mg

Percolated 64-272mg with an average of 200mg

Boiled (Turkish or Greek) 160-240mg with an average of 200mg

The value of caffeine in brewed coffee featured above is an average, with values generally between 64 and 272 milligrams per cup.

Because brewed coffee requires that the water is in contact with the grinds for a long time, this leads to a higher caffeine concentration (and sometimes an over-extracted taste)."

Also found this on their site, https://www.caffeineinforme...

• Geekologie

You two need to stop talking about killing hamsters and moose before you get put on a list

• Bling Nye

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...

• GeneralDisorder

MOOSE! Alpacca! Moose moose alpacca!