Clear Coffee Is A Real Product That Exists Now, Won't Stain Your Teeth

April 18, 2017

clear-coffee.jpg

CLR CFF is a horribly named new product that consists of coffee that's been specially treated to remove the brown color. It was created to prevent tooth staining for heavy coffee drinkers. It still has the caffeine though, which is the important part. As long as my coffee is strong and black, I don't care what color it is. "You just said it has to be black." And I stand by that.

The once opaque beverage is now clear to keep from staining the drinker's teeth. Using "high quality Arabica coffee beans" and "methods which have never been used before," CLR CFF will provide the caffeine fix you seek, while maintaining your pearly whites.

So they've finally figured out a way to add bleach to coffee without killing you, that's cool. A two pack of 200mL (~7-ounce) bottles will set you back around $8, or roughly eight times what I'm used to paying for a regular 10-ounce cup. And my teeth are super white, because I only drink with krazy straws. I even had some custom made that spell my name in cursive. "That's a penis." Well I didn't say this was one of them.

Thanks to lizzy, who agrees the best coffee isn't coffee at all, it's gasoline with Hawaiian Punch concentrate added. "Um, what?" Try it, it's good.

  • Deksam

    It is clearly not coffee.

  • TheQiwiMan
  • Enkidu98

    No Vowels, still looses the bowels! CLR CFF!

  • Jenness

    How did no one say "Yeah, I get it - but it also sounds fucking revolting & it will be amazing if anyone drinks this crap" in any of their meetings?

  • TheQiwiMan
  • Jenness

    Ermagahhhd I'm famous! Dead but still SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!

  • Frédéric Purenne

    Putting Jenness' face on the picture was brilliant!

  • Bling Nye

    Is this what coffee has come to?
    http://i.imgur.com/UF1vQAB.gif

    woah...déjà vu...

  • TheQiwiMan
blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post