There's A Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville Retirement Community Opening In Florida

March 2, 2017

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Because Parrotheads, like mot birds, like to fly south for the winter, there's a Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville retirement community ('Latitude Margaritaville') opening in Daytona Beach, Florida in 2018. Prefurnished homes will start in the low $200k's (that's reasonable) and I'm going to move there and start a new life as cougar bait. And by cougar bait I mean sabertooth tiger bait. Don't call me if you're under 100.

The $1 billion walkable community will have 6,900 homes, 200,000-square-feet of retail, a pool, fitness center, and beach shuttle. On its face, that might not sound much different from the average Florida retirement community, but Latitude Margaritaville will also be "an immersive brand experience" with an outdoor music venue and "signature Margaritaville food and beverage concepts."

Ah yes, you can never have too many 'signature Margaritaville food and beverage concepts'. What is this, a blue mango-habanero margarita with gummi sharks in it? I love it, I'll take two. But can you put them in a to-go cup -- Esther called on me to pay her a special visit and she's already living on borrowed time. *leaning across bar to whisper* I'll write you into her will if you can tell me where she keeps it.

Keep going for a handful of Golf Magazine boner-pill ad style shots.

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"Finally, we're away from the kids!"
"Haha, who are you? Let go of my hand!"

Thanks to Cyndi M, who informed me I can't live there because there's a difference between unemployment and retirement.

  • dougfunnay

    are all the guests required to wear pale clothing or do they just have the same tastes?

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    There will be so much old person herpes going on in that place.

  • Cheese

    You'd still pay to watch though :)

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    brings new meaning to "wasting away again in Margaritaville"

  • Oh, haha! I get it... like literal dying!! HAH!

  • Jenness

    I love how all the ads feature the most glorious looking older models and the women have long hair and the men are totally buff. Pretty sure it 'ain't gonna be nothing like that' once you get there.

  • Cheese

    Also wearing white without piss stains.

  • I'm 34 and I'd be stoked to look like this dude in 40 years. Or 10. Or now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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