Hushme, A Bane-Style Mouth Cover That Masks Your Speech

March 16, 2017

bane-mouth-muffler.jpg

This is a promotional video for the Hushme, a ridiculous looking piece of technology that muffles and masks your voice while you're on the phone so your coworkers can't hear you talk about how much you hate all your coworkers. Me? I let them know loud and proud. Hey Phil-- "Eat shit and die, I know, I know." You got it buddy!

"Hushme is a personal acoustic device that protects speech privacy in open space environments."

the Hushme website claims the device includes customized voice-masking sounds like a monkey screeching, Darth Vader breathing, and a Minion laughing.

Other muffling options include the sound of the ocean, wind, rain, birds, squirrels, and R2-D2. Although I think the monkeys screeching and Minion laugh stand the best chance of driving a coworker to attempted murder. And that's what this is all about, right -- paid short-term disability leave for a work stabbing? PROTIP: Wear chain-mail covered in ketchup packets under your work shirt.

Keep going for the commercial while I demand a video of somebody using this thing to call a phone-sex line during a business meeting to prove it works.

Thanks to Valerie, who agrees the best means of privacy over the phone is talking entirely in code. Copy that, red 41 banana flippers, over.

  • D3Fd0ck

    i need one for my playstation. that way i don't wake every one up in the middle of the night when im screaming at some dumbass noob that got everyone killed

  • What's a "furn"?

  • WhiteEagle2

    Is this close enough to April Fools to qualify?

  • ecafsub

    Bolt that thing to a tinfoil hat and you'll sell-out to everyone humping Trump's and Alex Jones' legs.

  • The_Wretched

    mmph, mmm, mmnmmnmph

  • JoycePowell1111

    dff

  • Wilf Smith

    "Have you ever felt uncomfortable when speaking over the phone in public spaces ?"
    ...

    "Because now we have the perfect product for you that will totally not make you feel uncomfortable and self conscious when speaking over the phone in public spaces with a large freaky piece of plastic welded to your jaw. No longer will you have to speak in hushed tones to avoid only those in 6 feet of you listening to a conversation - instead you can now signal to everyone visible in the entire room that you're having a private moment with your new gimpme mask."

    Perhaps their next product will be a bag you can place over your head so that you can't see everyone staring at you and your new gimpme mask.

  • WhiteEagle2

    Your comment initially looked like one of those spam comments about making money at home. Almost flagged you. Ha

  • ruth.moyer@mail.ru

    I profited $104k in last twelve months by working from my home a­n­d I did it by wo­rking in my own time f­­o­­r 3 or sometimes more h each day. I followed an earning model I stumbled upon from company that i found online and I am so happy that I was able to earn so much money on the side. It's very newbie friendly a­n­d I'm so blessed that i learned about it. Here’s what I did... http://www.wzurl.me/UhyySA

  • WhiteEagle2

    Okay, I suppose I walked into that one...

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