Cheer Up, Little Guy: A Unicorn Candle That Cries Rainbows

March 22, 2017


This is the $25 Crying Unicorn Candle available from Firebox. It's made of white ceramic with a spiral wax horn that makes it cry rainbows when lit. Plus it comes with two extra horns so you can really let those rainbow tears build up before having to switch to regular tapered candles from Target. Personally, I feel like they should have gone with a dripping rainbow out of the butt design, because nobody really wants to see a unicorn cry. That makes me sad. Unicorns pooping rainbows? That makes me happy. Me pooping rainbows? That makes me want to call my doctor immediately. Hello, doc? So I've been pooping rainbows for like the last 24 hours. "You should come in right away." What -- what? Why?! I was just calling to brag.

Keep going for two more shots.



Thanks to treelover, who loves trees, likes bushes, but only tolerates grass.

  • The_Wretched

    Purple candle burnt with blue and yellow tears...I'm having doubts that it works as advertised.

  • Jenness

    This disturbs me.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I don't know what bothers me more. A candle designed to burn improperly or the creepy holes in the unicorn's head.

  • Carolynjharper

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !dw351c:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I've had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialCashJobs611ShopScreen\GetPaid$97/Hour...


  • Meh

    Or buy normal candles for like 2 bucks and you'll have like a hundred.

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