Interesting: Obese Men Last 90 Sec Longer In The Sack

February 22, 2017

obese-bed-time.jpg

A recent study conducted by Turkey's Erciyes University (which hopefully involved timing couples going to Humptown with a stopwatch while cheering them on/taking bets), there's a direct correlation between physical size and endurance. Did you hear that? *jigging belly* Come get some, I may be chubby but I can least last longer than *falls asleep*

The reason behind this is because overweight men have a higher presence of estradiol, a female sex hormone, which actually inhibits the male orgasm.

Apparently the average man climaxes after six minutes, while an obese man can take up to 7.5, neither of which is anything your girlfriend is going to write home about. Mostly because people don't discuss their sex lives with their parents. She'll definitely tell some of her girlfriends about it though, then you'll always wonder when they're around if they know you're a sprinter and not a distance runner. And keep in mind this is for obese men, not morbidly obese men, who may never finish and will die on top of you.

Thanks to Thaylor H, who agrees trying to argue that you only last a minute because you're at peak physical fitness is an uphill battle.

  • Emmitt Morgans

    Well, at least *this* site isn't calling boogie a German Left-Wing Terrorist!

  • Apparently, he's a lurve machine.

  • Daily Mail is basically the British version of the National Enquirer. Which means this story has all the validity of Bat Boy.

    Also this study is very old, the findings were published all the way back in 2010. Way to finally catch up to the world of science, Daily Mail!

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.go...

  • Guesticle

    is this at all biased by turks' tendency to be big boned?

  • Ruth Copping Sidaway

    I wonder if Boogie appreciates you using his picture for this article.

  • Bling Nye

    Everybody loves t' jiggle! Commence t' jigglin'!

    http://i.imgur.com/4aVUyKl.gif

    So 'r we jigglin', 'rrrr.............

  • Ollie Williams

    That average 6 second figure cannot be accurate. If it is, that's... unfortunate for those women.

  • Geekologie

    Six seconds would be even worse than minutes

  • Ollie Williams

    I suppose it's only fair that you correct my comment, since I corrected your spelling yesterday.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I talked to my family doctor about how long things were lasting and how often I felt motivated and he literally told me "that's way above average".

    At the time it was like... sex 3 times a week and lasting "only

    30 to 40 minutes". He told me the average that he knew of was once or twice a month and 5 to 10 minutes of action. Whether he said that because there was actual medically collected data or it was just a guess for people who have been married a while and have at least one child, I'm not sure.

    Still, that didn't seem normal to me and my wife was bitching about "we don't have sex often enough". Turns out she's just a selfish asshole.

  • Once or twice a month?!
    I don't think I could have sex so infrequently.
    It would heal up!

  • GeneralDisorder

    I assumed the doctor was talking about broken people with non-functioning sex organs.

  • TheQiwiMan

    If what you say is true, I would like to meet your wife.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Well, she's an ex now. I'm not sure if her boyfriend would share. He already accuses her of cheating for talking in her sleep. Seriously, those two are perfect for each other.

  • Jenness

    That's a whole lotta sad right there. Next time just do it once a day. Can't go wrong there unless you're on vacation and then you should do it twice a day, unless you get a sunburn from being on the beach. I have a manual I can lend you. It's quite specific. It's called the Kuma Cuma Marriage Calendar Guide for How to Not Get Bored Boning the Same Person Every Day for the Rest of Your Life. Kind of long name - but the pictures and compact disk of animated 3D how-to guides are worth it.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I'd rather shoot myself than marry again... So hopefully there never will be a "next time". I sure as hell don't want to date again either. Tried it. Didn't like it.

  • Jenness

    You are such a bah humbug. I'm an optimist. You'll find 'the one'. Could be a dog. Not cat, I have a cat but you gotta be realistic because they only exist to break your heart. Ooohhh, a robot! If you live long enough you can have a sexbot just as bitter as you and you two can bitch about how everyone else should die or whatever gets you off. See! *whistles happy everything works out for everyone in the end tune*

  • GeneralDisorder

    I don't normally quote Rancid lyrics out of context but "I'm the one". (that song seems to be about suicide and religion... So not relevant).

    I kind of hate dogs. Depends on the owner but when I'm the owner I'm pretty sure dogs turn out bad.

    I'm sick of cats. My ex can be thanked for that.

    I'm afraid of robots.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    and here I thought it would be from them spending the extra 90 seconds trying to find their penises

  • Bling Nye

    Great minds, something something.

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