Because drinking on the can until my legs go numb is one of the few hobbies I'm good at (PROTIP: fill your toilet tank with ice and brewskis), this is the 3-D printed His and Hers Toilet Paper Holder for Beverages available from Etsy shop SOLIDink3d ($20). One side can hold a beer can or bottle, and the other side a wine glass. The middle holds toilet paper. Still, calling it his and hers seems a little dated, like men only drink beer and women only drink wine. Personally, I drink it all, including wine spritzers and hand sanitizer. Shit, I'd drink 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner if you told me it would give me a buzz. "It absolutely won't." I don't trust you, I'm gonna try it anyways.
Keep going for a couple more shots.
Thanks to lizzy, who informed me she wants one made with one end that holds a wine glass, and the other end the rest of the bottle. Smart.