Boeing Unveils New Spacesuit For Upcoming Trips To International Space Station

February 2, 2017


This is the new spacesuit unveiled by Boeing for their Starliner 'space taxi' trips to the International Space Station beginning in 2018. As you can see, they're way more form fitting than previous spacesuits, and even have crotch accents that make it look like you're wearing space ranger Underoos.

"The most important part is that the suit will keep you alive," astronaut Eric Boe said in a press release. "It is a lot lighter, more form-fitting and it's simpler, which is always a good thing. Complicated systems have more ways they can break, so simple is better on something like this."

New features include an upgraded helmet, which is incorporated into the spacesuit, touchscreen-sensitive gloves, and built-in ventilation.

Admittedly, that's a pretty sleek design (even if they did place the nipples way too low), but where do I wear my laser pistol? Does the holster come separate? Because I'll be damned if I'm blasting off into outerspace without easy access to my weapon. "You don't need a laser pistol." Yes I do too, how else am I going to keep the rest of the crew safe from space pirates -- did you ever think of that? *spins pistol on finger, accidentally shoots hole in cabin pressurization system* Oh shitty shit shit.

Keep going for several more shots and a short video.




Thanks to Luc, who's holding out for a Buzz Lightyear spacesuit. Yeah man, that thing's sweet.

  • Emmitt Morgans


    Hopefully the chin area of the helmet isn't as prone to cracking as the popular miniature prototype from the '80s... that would *not* go well.

  • I'm sure they know what they're doing, but... zips?!

  • Bertw192

    Nike will be marketing those shoes to the public soon. Mark my words.

  • Bling Nye

    What, no sippy straw? PFFT. Gotta take your helmet off to eat nutrient paste like a total pleb.

  • bigalosu

    Lol. I was going to say "What no cod piece?", but you were better.

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