25-year-old Antonieta Robles Souda recently tried to sneak her boyfriend José Antonio Anzoátegui out of the Puente Ayala prison in Barcelona, Venezuela, in a suitcase. Relationship goals. It did not work, despite a valiant effort by both participants. José is serving 9 years and 8 months for car theft (that sounds like a lot), and I'm afraid this probably won't reflect well on his good behavior.
She had brought their six year-old daughter and a large pink suitcase, which is not at all uncommon for overnight stays by family members in South American prison.
Their plan seemed to go smoothly as the woman carrying the bright pink luggage didn't make the guards suspicious at all, but it all came crashing down when they eventually noticed the petite woman struggling to pull the seemingly light suitcase out the door. They stopped Antonieta and asked her to open the suitcase so they could check its contents. Left with no option but to comply with the guards' demand, the woman unzipped the baggage to reveal young José Antonio curled up like a professional contortionist and covered with various clothing items. They provided a poor cover, though.
First of all, overnight stays? I never had any overnight stays in prison except with other prisoners. Secondly, how are there not mandatory bag checks entering and exiting the prison? I feel like that would just be good protocol. You think Jose marked off a little rectangle on the floor of his cell to practice fitting inside or you think when the time came he just balled himself up the best he could? Preparation is key, and Antonieta probably should have practiced wheeling around that suitcase full of bowling balls a little more. Still, I'm thinking the suitcase was the wrong way to go entirely, what she should have done is brought a shrinking ray then carried him out in her purse. Or -- OR -- they could have built a catapult together overnight and launched him over the wall. Pfft, but what do I know? I'm just a man no prison in the world can hold. "You got locked in your own apartment for three days." I seriously thought I was going to die.
Keep going for a full shot of Jose doing his best impersonation of a pile of clothes.
Thanks to KC, who agrees it was either this or the two people in an overcoat trick.