This is the $30 Beard Bib. It's a bib that connects around the back of your neck via Velcro, and the mirror in front of you via suction cups. That way all those little beard shavings don't wind up in and around the sink and drive your girlfriend crazy until she leaves you (I've lost two girlfriends and one roommate that way). It's also great for eating while driving. Shaving down there? The Beard Bib is not recommended for shaving privates, leave it and sit in the bathtub with the shower running and GO SLOW. Slow and steady always wins the ball-shaving race, because there are time penalties for nicking yourself. Can't manage to shave your beard without bleeding? No worries, your bloodied Beard Bib can also double as a butcher's coat on Halloween. Get a couple other people dressed as bakers, stockers, check-out people and shopping carts and we can all trick-or-treat as a grocery store.
Keep going for a couple more shots and a video in case you're really struggling with the concept.
Thanks to lizzy, who agrees the best way to avoid beard trimmings in the bathroom is to use an electric shaver on your drive to work.