Finally, Some Decent Vampire Repelling Garlic And Holy Water Soap

January 18, 2017

vampire-repelling-soap.jpg

This is the Garlic and Holy Water Vampire Repelling Soap made and sold by Pojo's Pure Vermont Soaps. It's made with real garlic and Holy Water and costs $10 per 3oz bar (or two for $18). For reference, that's a great deal to not get bitten by a vampire. How about some FAQS?!:

Q: Is this a real product?


A: Yes, of course!

Q: Does it really prevent physical vampire attacks?

A: Nobody who has used this soap has ever been attacked by a vampire.

Q: Does this soap actually smell like garlic?

A: Yes, Garlic & Holy Water Vampire Repelling Soap contains garlic oil and no additional fragrances, so it does have a distinctive garlic odor.

Heck yeah, I was just thinking the other day I'd like to smell more like garlic all the time so a second date is absolutely out of the question. She asked me if I work in an Italian restaurant! You know what I told her? "That you're wearing garlic soap to repel vampires?" Exactly, honesty is always the right policy, even if it means your date leaves before your drinks arrive.

Thanks to Phoebe, who agrees the best way to avoid a vampire attack is to already be a vampire.

  • pojojuniper

    Hey, guys! Thanks to this post I think it's safe to say that I now have the best-selling vampire repelling soap in the world!! And I offer a werewolf repelling soap as well. Thanks!

  • pojojuniper

    This is actually the best link for this product: http://www.pojosoaps.com/sp...

  • Camel

    Lisa, I would like to buy your rock....

  • GeneralDisorder

    Question: Will this make me smell like an italian restaurant?
    Answer: Yes. Obviously.

    Unrelated non-joke question. Is there a soap to attract vampires? I would buy that because vampire chicks are hot. And vampire guys are... I wouldn't know. I'm straight.

  • Geekologie

    that's risky behavior, I'd suggest retaking health-ed in high school

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