Finally: A Small, Gold-Plated Turd Sculpture Based On Geometric Principles

January 5, 2017

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This is the Archimedean Turd, a small gold-plated turd sculpture based on the combination of an Archimedean Spiral and The Golden Ration (Phi, ϕ). The 18k gold plated version costs $350 but you can get a cheap matte charcoal or glossy black porcelain version for only $20. Alternatively, save your money and don't buy either. *smacks in face* Actually considering buying turd sculptures, what the hell's the matter with you?

If you're curious about the turd's geometry, here is its formula, below:


The turds' geometry is based on the combination of an Archimedean spiral (r = a + bθ) and the Golden Ratio / Phi in triangles (a = 1, b = √φ, c = φ). The latter proportion is found in Egyptian Pyramids.

What a time to be alive. And you were worried 2017 was going to suck. Just look -- we've already got gold-plated geometric turds and we're only a week deep. Imagine what the rest of the year will bring! "Famine and pestilence?" Pool your life savings and dump it all into lotto scratchers, it's the only way out.

Keep going for a gif of the turd's geometric origins, and a shot of all three colors.

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Thanks to LP, who agrees paying $350 for a gold plated turd that's not even a real turd underneath is outrageous.

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