This is a video of Russian man Deita Meira playing the Star Wars Imperial March on a plastic coffee stirrer. I know that's probably the most exhilarating thing you've ever read, but he actually does a surprisingly good job. Me? I only like those coffee stirrers that are actually little straws, that way I can use them to blow bubbles in my chocolate milk. "I told you to stop doing that." Mom! "Do you want dessert or not?" Depends, what is dessert? "There actually isn't any, you know the doctor told us we have to watch your weight." Great, now even my make-believe life sucks.
Keep going for the video while I tap out Free Bird on a little shellfish fork.
Thanks to Greg O, who agrees somewhere in Russia there's a coffee that's sad it never got stirred.