These are FireBox's Beardo Baubles, a $12 box of ten little assorted color Christmas ornaments you can hang from your beard. But why limit yourself? Why not just hang any Christmas ornament you want from your beard? And string some little twinkling lights up too. Shoot, you might as well dial the Christmas spirit up to 11 and wear a star or angel on top of your head while you're at it. I guess we'll put all our presents under your beard on your chest. "What did you get me?" My hand! Dang, you strong.
Thanks to Katie, for reminding me it's almost time for me to plug in the outdoor Christmas lights I never took down after last year and make sure they still work.