These are the Kirk and Spock Star Trek koozies available from the official online Star Trek store ($9 apiece). They look like headless versions of the two characters and promise to keep your soda or beer colder longer than without a Kirk or Spock Star Trek koozie. Want to keep your beer REALLY cold? "Is this going to have anything to do with witch's tits?" Of course it is, look who you're talking to. Now listen: the key is to remember to wear gloves to avoid frostbite AND AVOID THE NIPPLE. See my hands? "Jesus, what happened to all your fingers?!" Consider this a public service announcement.
Keep going for a shot of the Spocker.
Thanks to Alexander, who keeps his beer cold the old fashioned way: drinking them fast enough so they never get the chance to get warm. You're a god amongst men.