These are several shots of Nelson the hedgehog. Nelson lost all his spikes and hair as a result of a mysterious happening while living in the wild. He was found and taken to the Foxy Lodge Wildlife Rescue in Norfolk, UK, where he now resides because he's too vulnerable to predators in the real world. Hey -- the real world sucks anyways, Nelson.
''We will likely never know what caused him to lose his hair and spikes,'' Tonia Garner, the manager at Foxy Lodge told Metro. ''He's a mystery but to have survived into adulthood he must have had prickles and his health is very good other than the fact he is bald.''
Volunteers at the sanctuary guess that Nelson's condition is due to stress-related alopecia he got after experiencing some sort of trauma in the wild. All of his spines fell out without growing back.
Staff was hoping the spikes will reappear, so everyday they massaged the little fellow with almond oils to stimulate growth. Unfortunately, this didn't help. They still continue to massage Nelson on a daily basis, because the hedgehog seems to enjoy his SPA sessions - it keeps him warm and his wrinkly skin soft and smooth.
That sounds like living the dream. That also sounds like somebody caught wind of this Foxy Lodge Wildlife Rescue and decided to shed their spikes and go live the easy life. Keep going for several more shots of Nelson in case you were wondering just how much like a ballsack a spikeless hedgehog can look. SPOILER: 100% identical.
Keep going for more of the mushball.
Thanks to Marcus O, for making me wish I was a spikeless, hairless hedgehog getting almond oil massage treatments every day.